FMLs submitted from Nevada

Today, after spending a lazy day at home, I went to UPS with my mom to help her pick up a package. While in line, she sent me back to the car because I'm, "an embarrassment to be around" when I'm not wearing makeup. FML

by apparentlyugly / 12/09/2014 at 8:56pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

by ring-a-ding-ding / 12/06/2014 at 12:18am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, after a few weeks of my dad setting up glue traps in the garage to trap mice, I found out what it's like to have a pigeon wander in and get its foot stuck on one. FML

by Axelerate / 12/04/2014 at 6:09am / United States (Nevada) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML

by That idiot / 08/27/2014 at 10:33pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I had to sit through yet another one of my mom's, "You need to grow and gain some weight!" rants. I'm 22 and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm done growing. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting past 5'2". FML

by Tiny / 07/29/2014 at 4:27am / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, my mother compared having me as a daughter to having a deadly kind of cancer. FML

by wtf? / 07/19/2014 at 1:53am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I helped my dad push our broken-down truck from the driveway onto the tire ramp. Truck didn't make it; neither did my leg. FML

by crippled / 07/08/2014 at 4:40am / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I went to a seamstress to be fitted for my wedding dress and left with a pierced nipple. FML

by pierced. / 06/25/2014 at 12:29am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML

by DJJayLee / 06/23/2014 at 1:45am / United States (Nevada) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while ringing up a girl, I asked for an ID to verify her credit card. She said she forgot it but pulls out her Facebook on her phone to show me it really is hers. FML

by Axelerate / 06/21/2014 at 2:49am / United States (Nevada) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, in a waiting room, my 4-year-old daughter told me she saw two guys kissing. I quietly explained that some men like men, they're gay, and normal like everyone else. I was pleased with myself until the woman across from me scoffed and muttered, "Disgusting." FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2014 at 1:42am / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm / United States (Nevada) / Work