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FMLs submitted from Nevada

Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML

#21407053
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27437) - you deserved it (1797)

On 05/09/2015 at 12:10am - misc - by sarahmaxine - United States (Nevada)

Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML

#21402962
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27213) - you deserved it (2197)

On 05/01/2015 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found the eggshells from the nest belonging to the little bird that lives outside my house. They were covered in blood and it was quite obvious that they had been eaten. While I was looking at them, the mother bird came over and attacked me. FML

#21402034
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27561) - you deserved it (3074)

On 04/29/2015 at 10:08pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying at my after-wedding party, after promising she'd behave herself. She thinks my husband is an awful person who'll drag me into a life of sin, all because he has a tattoo and an ear piercing. FML

#21379352
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27220) - you deserved it (2609)

On 03/22/2015 at 5:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I thought I had carbon monoxide poisoning because I had the symptoms and my detector was going off. I called the fire dept, they checked me, they checked my apartment. My apartment is fine; I'm just out of shape, have high blood pressure, and don't know how to work simple electronics. FML

#21367736
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29143) - you deserved it (9794)

On 03/04/2015 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, a model I've been working on for an art competition was declined. They thought I was being insensitive and "rudely glorifying 9/11". My model was about the ending scene of King Kong. I spent twenty hours on that model. FML

#21357798
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37) - you deserved it (2168)

On 02/17/2015 at 1:39am - misc - by Swatted - United States (Nevada)

Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML

#21355782
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31783) - you deserved it (3213)

On 02/14/2015 at 4:46am - kids - by Investing in Toilet Seatbelts - United States (Nevada)

Today, my science teacher decided not to recommend me for an honors science class for next year. The reason? Last week, I made the mistake of asking whether spray tans give vitamins in the same way as the sun. FML

#21349372
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14703) - you deserved it (43509)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend when I began dozing off. I was then awoken by an explosive fart. It was me. FML

#21340117
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29961) - you deserved it (5124)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had to explain to my grandmother why, "What a nice singing voice! He doesn't sound black at all!" is not a compliment. FML

#21336801
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31891) - you deserved it (2754)

On 01/14/2015 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

#21329484
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30413) - you deserved it (2367)

On 01/02/2015 at 5:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I decided to start jogging and exercising, so I had a wonderful workout before work. Then I broke my foot at work. Goodbye exercising. FML

#21327143
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25264) - you deserved it (2103)

On 12/30/2014 at 12:24pm - health - by mikki bee - United States (Nevada)

Today, I spent well over an hour waiting for customer service to assist me with my forgotten password, only to realize, 5 minutes into the conversation, that I had never created an account in the first place. FML

#21317146
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17053) - you deserved it (26235)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)



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