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FMLs submitted from Nebraska

Today, I was having a hot telephone conversation with my boyfriend who lives in another state. Unfortunately, I even have to fake orgasms during phone sex. FML

#10791004
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16792) - you deserved it (31129)

On 05/27/2010 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was applying some acne ointment. The directions said, "Apply a thin layer, covering the entire affected area." In other words, for me: My entire face. Lovely. FML

#8988436
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21654) - you deserved it (3784)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. This was after I saved several paychecks to afford to give her a weekend away for her birthday. Why did she end things so quick? Because apparently I'm balding faster than her Dad. I'm 20. FML

#7806645
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27066) - you deserved it (2199)

On 02/02/2010 at 2:34am - love - by BaldingQuick (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML

#7434698
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28429) - you deserved it (6276)

On 01/19/2010 at 9:17am - love - by Sl3vin (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was on Facebook chat with my boss, talking about holiday hours. I had to go to my doctor's appointment, so I said, "G2G, love you" accidentally. Not only did he say it back, but he also requested a relationship with me on Facebook. FML

#6883873
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30775) - you deserved it (11857)

On 12/22/2009 at 1:05pm - work - by ohshat (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I gave a girl I like a $200 diamond necklace to express how much she means to me. She gave me a hug and told me she didn't want to lose me as a friend. Nor did she want to lose her new necklace. Today, I got a $200 hug. FML

#6696608
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13365) - you deserved it (35884)

On 12/10/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by Henji (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I got stuck in the snow in the middle of street. As I was just beginning to get myself unstuck, the snow plow came by and buried the front end of my car. FML

#6671880
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23813) - you deserved it (1817)

On 12/08/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by HoHoSnow (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my tire was a little low on air. I decided to put in a can of Fix-A-Flat and drive home. Since it was 10 degrees outside and snowing, the can became frozen to the valve. When I finally got the can off, I had ruined the valve, so I had to put on the spare tire. It was flat too. FML

#6651992
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24375) - you deserved it (5308)

On 12/07/2009 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML

#6457237
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28254) - you deserved it (2730)

On 11/26/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by moviewalker (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML

#6441636
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30208) - you deserved it (1922)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by CT (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my "future" wife got drunk in front of my parents, who she was meeting for the first time. She called my dad a piece of shit and told my mom she wants to tear her own eyes out. FML

#5794322
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32765) - you deserved it (5283)

On 10/12/2009 at 10:52am - misc - by shocked (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML

#5661357
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10918) - you deserved it (29018)

On 10/05/2009 at 12:36pm - work - by sleepytime (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was at work when two sheriff's deputies walked in. They asked me my name and when I told them, they asked me to turn around and they cuffed me. They told me I was under arrest for robbery. Turns out I was mistakenly IDed, but now every one at my job thinks I'm an armed robber. FML

#5385997
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32923) - you deserved it (1913)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by THATguy (man) - United States (Nebraska)



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