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FMLs submitted from Nebraska

Today, my boyfriend, who moved in about a month ago, decided he wanted to move back out. Why? Because I don't keep my place clean enough for him. This, coming from the same man who refuses to wash or clean anything because "that's what women are for." FML

#20560431
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38247) - you deserved it (9660)

On 03/26/2013 at 12:15am - love - by ShouldBeSingleSoon (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I told my family I was divorcing my husband. My little sister asked if "we can keep him instead". FML

#20546016
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34076) - you deserved it (7185)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

#20495499
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44897) - you deserved it (4146)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found a notebook my 12-year-old sister had been doodling in. Turns out the "doodles" were poems full of obscenities and descriptions of how she wanted to hurt herself. When I showed it to my mom, she accused me of writing the notebook myself to frame my sister. FML

#20133698
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26339) - you deserved it (2103)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:38am - kids - by familyofpsychos - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was loudly bitched out by someone for speaking in a fake British accent, to make myself "sound sophisticated". I moved here two years ago from London. FML

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

#20101402
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27347) - you deserved it (2095)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29834) - you deserved it (4562)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

#20007867
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18912) - you deserved it (11492)

On 08/07/2012 at 3:17pm - work - by Employee (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my date made me pay him for picking me up, and taking me back home. FML

#19779965
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27120) - you deserved it (3389)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:42am - money - by bad date - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I said, "It would be hard for me to conceal my weapon." She instantly replied, "Not really, it's like finding a needle in a haystack, you'll be alright." FML

#19399007
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26230) - you deserved it (7131)

On 04/03/2012 at 12:43am - intimacy - by DanteWest1000 (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I arrived home. I'd left for a business trip 5 days earlier, and trusted my husband with our young boys. As soon as I stepped in the door, I noticed my son had thinner hair than when I'd left. He then showed me an empty container of Nair. FML

#18738819
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23758) - you deserved it (2927)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:50pm - kids - by ProudMama (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, a month after my final bout of intimacy with the stage five clinger who's been borderline stalking me since high school, she called to tell me I'm going to be a father. FML

#18222551
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12656) - you deserved it (58054)

On 11/11/2011 at 8:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I received a message on Facebook from a guy I've liked for a year. He asked me if I wanted to hang out, so I said yes. When I walked out to his car later on, he gave me a really confused look. Apparently I was on my brother's Facebook, and he'd never logged out. FML

#17480166
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33827) - you deserved it (11555)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:20pm - love - by Leota (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



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