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FMLs submitted from Montana

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

#17087035
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24175) - you deserved it (15139)

On 07/12/2011 at 11:13pm - animals - by MooCow - United States (Montana)

Today, my dad informed me that I will be staying in the bug-infested shed for the summer when I come to visit, due to his girlfriend's sewing workspace completely taking over the only room I've ever had at his house. FML

#16792540
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33903) - you deserved it (2472)

On 06/22/2011 at 12:59am - health - by justinj360 - United States (Montana)

Today, to punish me for being hungover, my roommate blasted the bagpipe version of "Amazing Grace" through his stereo. FML

#15128708
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13966) - you deserved it (33967)

On 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm - misc - by jm_track - United States (Montana)

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

#14965591
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15175) - you deserved it (51511)

On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I got married. Tonight, I received the best orgasm of my life. Not from my husband; from the jacuzzi tub in our honeymoon suite, where he was passed out drunk. FML

#14170745
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38479) - you deserved it (4860)

On 12/11/2010 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I met at a masquerade. The moment he saw me without my mask on, he left the date. FML

#8892193
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28511) - you deserved it (3405)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:38pm - misc - by workinggirl (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, while at McDonald's, I saw an 8 year old girl licking a life-size Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench. Being concerned, I told her mother who then yelled at me for 10 minutes for being a "paedophile" and "being turned on by an 8 year old girl." FML

#8781729
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30135) - you deserved it (2871)

On 03/02/2010 at 8:20pm - misc - by JackG - United States (Montana)

Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML

#8605732
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20096) - you deserved it (4285)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:05am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML

#8300405
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22775) - you deserved it (7397)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, we got our family pictures back from the printers. I complained to my mom about the ones she picked. "Oh don't worry," she said. "I had them photoshop out your gut." I was talking about my smile. FML

#7292547
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23445) - you deserved it (3508)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by Me (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss' wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men". I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML

#6335196
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34084) - you deserved it (1983)

On 11/16/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by bad_day_in_hell - United States (Montana)

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

#6287129
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12037) - you deserved it (52090)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)



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