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Today, I was training a new girl at work. We're always told to find "common interests" with the people we r training to make it less awkward 4 them. Little did I know that our "common interest" would turn out to be my boyfriend. FML
my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada startd to fly toward mah face, so I flippd mah pool stick over and swattd at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML
Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms an I decided to test a few on mah girlfriend!! Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling an said I looked lyk a giraffe trying to bob for apples!! FML
Today... I was out with my dog... who loves to bury things. He had recently torn apart his toy and buried it in the sand. I saw a piece of it sticking out of the ground... so I picked it up. It turns out that I was holding his toy... but rather a dead bat. mega FML
Today, I went to a Mexican restaurant with my family. I got stuck trying to decide whether I should get the fajitas or the tacos. I endd up getting the tacos because I didn't want the fajitas to come in sizzling, and I didn't want to ( make a scene ). My social anxiety has hit a new low. FML
Friday 27 March 2015