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FMLs submitted from Missouri

Today, I was on the phone with an elderly customer at work. I had to spend 10 minutes listening to him describe how the underwear he bought was too tight and caused his bladder to leak. FML

#14913113
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23566) - you deserved it (2433)

On 02/09/2011 at 7:41pm - work - by spiderchick23 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

#14894865
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29659) - you deserved it (3320)

On 02/08/2011 at 11:27am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML

#14881953
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10992) - you deserved it (38604)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:41pm - love - by Lindsay (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML

#14813959
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35719) - you deserved it (8736)

On 02/02/2011 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML

#14797258
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8371) - you deserved it (62237)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Brea - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was backing out of my snowy drive way on my way to work. I thought I hit a lump of snow. I'd run over my white cat. FML

#14698067
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36094) - you deserved it (7107)

On 01/24/2011 at 1:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

#14585624
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12750) - you deserved it (48278)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandparents for the first time. When my boyfriend introduced us, his grandfather smiled at me, took my hand, and said in the most polite voice, "Wow, you're not nearly as pretty as he described you." FML

#14511615
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24311) - you deserved it (2483)

On 01/08/2011 at 7:22pm - misc - by lizard (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boss decided to post a photo of a piece of crap on Facebook. He tagged me in it. FML

#14500845
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26545) - you deserved it (3774)

On 01/07/2011 at 8:31pm - work - by poop (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea for me to talk with a British accent during my job interview to make me sound smarter. I'm applying for a job at McDonald's. FML

#14394529
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25359) - you deserved it (4858)

On 12/30/2010 at 10:37am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, the horn in my car decided to malfunction. It honked continuously for an hour as I drove down the highway. FML

#14315930
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25000) - you deserved it (2526)

On 12/23/2010 at 9:21pm - misc - by nick (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, the guy who got off when the elevator's doors opened had a very embarrassed look on his face. I didn't think anything of it till the doors closed. Turns out he was running away from his deadly fart. FML

#14242742
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24811) - you deserved it (2681)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:56am - misc - by lizard (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML

#14074806
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37025) - you deserved it (5165)

On 12/03/2010 at 7:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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