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FMLs submitted from Missouri

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML

#21403099
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29867) - you deserved it (2022)

On 05/01/2015 at 8:33pm - health - by I'm just sick, really - United States (Missouri)

Today, a parent of one of the students I teach called me to complain that I was teaching her child "lies" and "fairytales". I was teaching them about the Holocaust. FML

#21390720
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33318) - you deserved it (1810)

On 04/09/2015 at 3:38pm - work - by PrettySureItsReal - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was told it was inconvenient for me to take lunch breaks, because someone else has to answer the phones and no one else wants to actually do any work. FML

#21388704
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25961) - you deserved it (1596)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:02pm - work - by tee - United States (Missouri)

Today, I picked up a rock outside and put it in my pocket because it looked cool. A teacher holding the door open stopped me and sent me to the principal. I was confused and asked the teacher why the strict action. She replied that someone has been putting rocks in the toilet. I got a detention. FML

#21386851
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28450) - you deserved it (2514)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:08am - misc - by overreacting - United States (Missouri)

Today, after recently quitting a terrible job which made me miserable, I went to my first work meeting at my new job. I was excited to start fresh and meet my new coworkers. Instead, I met my boyfriend's extremely jealous ex-girlfriend. She didn't look excited to see me. FML

#21383954
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27734) - you deserved it (1837)

On 03/30/2015 at 1:06am - work - by kitkat3308 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

#21379871
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (750) - you deserved it (3403)

On 03/23/2015 at 12:42am - animals - by birdsterrifyme - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was pulled over by a police officer because he thought I was skipping school. I'm 24 and we graduated high school together. FML

#21377506
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36004) - you deserved it (2492)

On 03/19/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML

#21368848
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33730) - you deserved it (7162)

On 03/05/2015 at 7:25pm - misc - by Josh - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

#21356336
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36692) - you deserved it (5096)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I'm working for a company that makes over a million dollars a year, yet leaves me with no choice but to pee in a cup because they won't pay to fix the only toilet in the building. FML

#21355373
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28140) - you deserved it (2058)

On 02/13/2015 at 2:05pm - work - by Anonynonynon (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found three of my sister's dildos as I helped her unpack boxes for her new house. Jokingly, I said, "Why would you even need three?!" She actually explained. FML

#21334501
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31274) - you deserved it (10214)

On 01/10/2015 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by sisterlylove - United States (Missouri)

Today, after paying a job coach a load of money for his services, pretty much the only advice he gave me was "Send out more résumés." FML

#21333885
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25544) - you deserved it (4612)

On 01/09/2015 at 11:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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