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FMLs submitted from Missouri

Today, a parent of one of the students I teach called me to complain that I was teaching her child "lies" and "fairytales". I was teaching them about the Holocaust. FML

#21390720
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32818) - you deserved it (1808)

On 04/09/2015 at 3:38pm - work - by PrettySureItsReal - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was told it was inconvenient for me to take lunch breaks, because someone else has to answer the phones and no one else wants to actually do any work. FML

#21388704
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25814) - you deserved it (1592)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:02pm - work - by tee - United States (Missouri)

Today, I picked up a rock outside and put it in my pocket because it looked cool. A teacher holding the door open stopped me and sent me to the principal. I was confused and asked the teacher why the strict action. She replied that someone has been putting rocks in the toilet. I got a detention. FML

#21386851
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28369) - you deserved it (2510)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:08am - misc - by overreacting - United States (Missouri)

Today, after recently quitting a terrible job which made me miserable, I went to my first work meeting at my new job. I was excited to start fresh and meet my new coworkers. Instead, I met my boyfriend's extremely jealous ex-girlfriend. She didn't look excited to see me. FML

#21383954
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27684) - you deserved it (1835)

On 03/30/2015 at 1:06am - work - by kitkat3308 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

#21379871
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (711) - you deserved it (3388)

On 03/23/2015 at 12:42am - animals - by birdsterrifyme - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was pulled over by a police officer because he thought I was skipping school. I'm 24 and we graduated high school together. FML

#21377506
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35970) - you deserved it (2491)

On 03/19/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML

#21368848
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33701) - you deserved it (7160)

On 03/05/2015 at 7:25pm - misc - by Josh - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

#21356336
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36488) - you deserved it (5080)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I'm working for a company that makes over a million dollars a year, yet leaves me with no choice but to pee in a cup because they won't pay to fix the only toilet in the building. FML

#21355373
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28121) - you deserved it (2057)

On 02/13/2015 at 2:05pm - work - by Anonynonynon (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found three of my sister's dildos as I helped her unpack boxes for her new house. Jokingly, I said, "Why would you even need three?!" She actually explained. FML

#21334501
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31150) - you deserved it (10177)

On 01/10/2015 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by sisterlylove - United States (Missouri)

Today, after paying a job coach a load of money for his services, pretty much the only advice he gave me was "Send out more résumés." FML

#21333885
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25465) - you deserved it (4597)

On 01/09/2015 at 11:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store. Before I knew what was happening, he'd sniffed me and started whimpering about how I don't smell like I used to. He does this kind of crazy shit all the time. FML

#21324827
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29831) - you deserved it (3104)

On 12/26/2014 at 6:06pm - love - by GOAWAY - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31710) - you deserved it (3671)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)



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