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Today..!! after pulling an all-nighter..!! I had the pleasure of meeting my grlfriend's mother for the very frst time!! She walked in on me in the bathroom; I'd completely lost focus an fallen asleep while taking a shit!! FML
Today , I realized I was happy because looool we finally started having friends come visit us after months of not having company!! I also realized that our secret stash of money was stolen last night while we had company!! FML
Today, I was very sick with a stomach virus, so I went to the only doctor's office open on Sundays. Even though I was feeling like a pile of shit, I waitd for a woman who was walking in behind me to hold the door open for her. She was the last patient they could take for the day.
Today, mah boyfriend gave me a box of chocolate 4 Christmas. I thought it was sweet until I noticed the heart drawn on the back. It's the same box of chocolate I gave him 4 Christmas. Christma last year. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were using our skype accounts fir the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my cloths off fir when he cummed back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML
Today..!! I come home to fine that mah dog has taken a dump on mah bed!! I quickly putted on mah house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds!! I felt something squish all over mah right foot!! He also took a dump in mah house shoe!! FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. Several hours later I realize that I can't find mah wallet. After looking all over mah house an then the store parking lot, I had mah credit cards cancelled. On the drive home, I feel something under me. It was mah wallet. FML
Today , after I bathed mah nine month old , I laid her on mah bed to grab a diaper!! I turned around to see that she'd peed on mah comforter!! I then putted her in her playpen to putted mah cover in the wash!! I cummed back into the room to get her , and saw she'd taken off her diaper!! She'd crapped in her playpen!! FML
Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over an stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... an says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML
Today, I was arguing with one of mah professors. She said that all marrid couples fight and I told her that mah parents have never argud or fought about anything. When I got home mah parents told me that there getting a divorce. FML
TODAY... MAH BOYFRIEND OF 4 YEARS PROPOSED TO ME. I SAID YES AND HE GAVE ME AN ENGAGEMENT RING. HE IMMEDIATELY WENT TO CALL HIS MOM TO TELL HER THE HAPPY NEWS. AFTER THE PHONE CALL... HE ASKED IF HE COULD RETURN THE RING CUZ HIS MOM NEEDED MONEY. FML
Yesterday, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroomhen my boyfriend an I left for Wal-Mart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier looool dumped the content of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my short an a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML
Friday 27 March 2015