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FMLs submitted from Minnesota

Today, I learned the hard way that yes, a fork can get stuck in your braces. FML

#16601397
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29489) - you deserved it (15575)

On 06/10/2011 at 9:32pm - health - by 8sq (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to give a 63 year old man a shot. He started bawling before I even brought out the needle. I tried to get him calm down. Then he grabbed the needle, threw it at me and ran out the door. FML

#16365473
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30565) - you deserved it (2934)

On 05/26/2011 at 11:05pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at 11 weeks pregnant, I excitedly told my best friend that my baby now has fingernails. Her response was, "You're beginning to sound like a pro-life bumper sticker." FML

#16031516
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23884) - you deserved it (18659)

On 05/03/2011 at 11:41am - misc - by CRH (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had an allergic reaction to cranberry juice. The only reason I was drinking cranberry juice was to help with a bladder infection. Now I'm covered in what looks like a rash and peeing constantly. FML

#15768442
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30350) - you deserved it (3053)

On 04/13/2011 at 9:34am - health - by Arghh (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

#15366508
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30866) - you deserved it (6009)

On 03/18/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by nosleeptilpissoff (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

#15287588
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11716) - you deserved it (37429)

On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML

#15261290
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46149) - you deserved it (8749)

On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

#14997625
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42242) - you deserved it (3509)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:14am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML

#14768541
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32287) - you deserved it (9863)

On 01/30/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by effingdoucher (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friends and I were messing around with an app on my phone that makes your picture look fat. My picture looked the same before and after. FML

#14669350
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28255) - you deserved it (9297)

On 01/22/2011 at 12:53am - misc - by Peter C. - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out everyone in my family thought the red toothbrush was theirs, and that all four of us have been using the same toothbrush for months. FML

#14596150
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36656) - you deserved it (7850)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I put my old kitchen table at the end of my driveway with a free sign on it. Later, I saw my neighbor drag it to his yard with a $50 for sale sign on it. It's now gone. FML

#14255221
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11930) - you deserved it (33222)

On 12/19/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by synyster505 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend decided that he needed some time alone for a few weeks. This break just so happens to include our one year anniversary, Christmas, New Year's, and my birthday. Now I get to spend the next three weeks alone. FML

#14250583
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32604) - you deserved it (4314)

On 12/18/2010 at 6:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)



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