FMLs submitted from Minnesota

Today, I was at work when a co-worker decided it would be funny to email me from my boss's computer to tell me I had been laid off. It wasn't funny when I was fired for real after "skipping work without giving notice." FML

by Adam Jensen / 06/18/2012 at 12:39am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

by intheairtonight / 04/25/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML

by amber / 04/19/2012 at 2:00pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2012 at 4:53pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "sex". My son is 16. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 12:18am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I had to tell a parent about her son kicking a boy in his class. She blamed me for not watching him. I wasn't watching him because I was turned around to care for another boy he had hit right before that. FML

by LadyJ / 03/20/2012 at 8:23pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I faked a sore throat for the school nurse so I could go home early. It took my dad the rest of the school day just to get there to pick me up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2012 at 12:28pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

by anonamous / 03/12/2012 at 5:45pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my mom has been stealing from me to pay for Scientology courses. FML

by sonofanut / 02/21/2012 at 10:14pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that with all the money I've spent on repairs for my iPhone through the months, I could have bought a phone that doesn't die horribly whenever I so much as give it a mean look. FML

by anonymous / 02/18/2012 at 5:07pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money

Today, I admitted my fear of small spaces to my boyfriend. His response was to immediately lock me in the hall closet. FML

by Bailyboo / 01/26/2012 at 6:50pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, my family and I went over to our new neighbors' house, to sing a carol and say hello. The only response we got was a door slammed in our faces. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2011 at 4:02pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous