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FMLs submitted from Minnesota

Today, after a week of staying in at night and fighting off a persistent cold, I was finally feeling well again, so I decided to go to my boyfriend's work BBQ. I got food poisoning. FML

#17876001
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26616) - you deserved it (2285)

On 10/01/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by Sickofbeingsick (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it was my first day at school in the United States. Being from France, my French accent is really strong. After being made fun of all day, I met someone from Montreal. I was so excited and said, "Parlez-vous Français?" And his response? "HUH?!" FML

#17754164
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25238) - you deserved it (5307)

On 09/15/2011 at 9:42pm - misc - by Frenchgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went into a public bathroom and walked in on a guy checking his butt out in the mirror to see if he'd wiped properly. FML

#17541030
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25594) - you deserved it (1771)

On 08/21/2011 at 8:03pm - misc - by Bobby ray slice - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after spending over $1000 on plane tickets, I'm visiting my family for the first time in five years. Two hours after I arrived, everyone is screaming at each other and taking their rage out on me. They still ask why I never visit. FML

#17157621
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28031) - you deserved it (2982)

On 07/18/2011 at 1:09am - misc - by Kurochrome - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

#16985861
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27620) - you deserved it (4196)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:41pm - misc - by IAmACoolCat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML

#16932520
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28766) - you deserved it (3286)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by ugh annoying - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I decided I was done waiting for my boyfriend to ask me to marry him, so we were cuddling in his bed and I asked him. He asked for a rain check. FML

Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML

#16732224
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20668) - you deserved it (7176)

On 06/18/2011 at 5:49pm - misc - by Stormy - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11505) - you deserved it (55305)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

#16611980
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35821) - you deserved it (4649)

On 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by Mom (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I learned the hard way that yes, a fork can get stuck in your braces. FML

#16601397
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25432) - you deserved it (14321)

On 06/10/2011 at 9:32pm - health - by 8sq (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to give a 63 year old man a shot. He started bawling before I even brought out the needle. I tried to get him calm down. Then he grabbed the needle, threw it at me and ran out the door. FML

#16365473
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24566) - you deserved it (2114)

On 05/26/2011 at 11:05pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at 11 weeks pregnant, I excitedly told my best friend that my baby now has fingernails. Her response was, "You're beginning to sound like a pro-life bumper sticker." FML

#16031516
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22441) - you deserved it (18058)

On 05/03/2011 at 11:41am - misc - by CRH (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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