FMLs submitted from Minnesota

Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML

by geeb / 02/23/2010 at 1:33pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, we were drawing self-portraits in school. I'm horrible at art, so I turned to the person next to me and stated that mine looked really ugly. He replied saying, "No, it looks exactly like you." FML

by quasimodo / 02/22/2010 at 4:24pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went in to a job interview with 6 other girls my age. I tried to sit down on a chair exactly like the ones every other girl was sitting on. Then, one of the interviewers offered to get me a more "sturdy" chair. For the entire interview, I got to sit in the "fat girl chair". FML

by HellaBomber91 / 02/11/2010 at 3:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got rear-ended. In possibly the scariest part of downtown. At night. By a man who spoke hardly any English but managed to ask if I would go out dancing with him instead of calling my insurance company. FML

by city_girl / 02/04/2010 at 1:34am / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation

Today, the toilet at my apartment still hasn't been fixed. I have to straddle the bathtub for number 1's and go to Walmart for 2's. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 10:27am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, somebody stopped by the front desk at the hotel I work at to report a vehicle had its headlights on. I wrote down the info, including the plate. Hours later, after my shift was over, I finally realized that it was MY vehicle. The battery was dead. FML

by HotelClerk / 01/22/2010 at 1:37am / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

by IceMage / 01/17/2010 at 7:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

by coinoperatedgirl / 01/10/2010 at 8:04pm / United States (Minnesota) / Geek

Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party I threw last night. I attempted to clean the puke stain on my carpet while still drunk. I didn't realize until this morning that the All Purpose cleaner I used was actually All Purpose Adhesive. The evidence is now glued to my carpet. FML

by Lady / 01/10/2010 at 7:21pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a diamond on the floor, which I could only assume was from one of my brother's cheap earrings. I was positive that it was fake. To prove it to myself, I ran it across my window, as they say only real diamonds cut glass. It's real. FML

by namehere34 / 12/29/2009 at 2:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML

by xMiSS_CuTiEx / 12/27/2009 at 5:25pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother informed me that I am not allowed to drive in snow. I live in Minnesota. FML

by Snow / 12/26/2009 at 4:45pm / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation

Today, I started my job as a waiter. I was excited when my first customer paid for the bill. I go over to the table, half-expecting a tip. I got to the table and no money was on the table. On the bottom receipt was written: "Ever heard of deodorant?" Apparently I smell bad. Thanks for the tip. FML

by themonkeyman / 12/22/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous