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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, it's my birthday, and everyone, family and friends, forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML

#21253357
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42073) - you deserved it (3054)

On 09/06/2014 at 11:06pm - animals - by Meowit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45774) - you deserved it (3695)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

#21235555
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27852) - you deserved it (34842)

On 08/12/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by kirstyrd - United States (Michigan)

Today, while working as a barista, a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not being ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her, but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed for over an hour. FML

#21211312
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42277) - you deserved it (5065)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:46pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, a customer called the restaurant I work at to ask if our coupons were always valid, or if they expired on the expiration date printed on them. FML

#21179816
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43336) - you deserved it (4865)

On 06/18/2014 at 8:58pm - work - by Shannon - United States (Michigan)

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

#21177000
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61273) - you deserved it (4321)

On 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by FirstDaddy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

#21147101
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50476) - you deserved it (12432)

On 05/21/2014 at 7:05am - love - by Alone - United States (Michigan)

Today, the creepy kid who sits behind me in English class decided that sniffing my hair wasn't disturbing enough for his liking, so he tried something new: popping one of the pimples on my neck. When I reacted in horror, all he could say was, "It looked pretty..." FML

#21134831
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49895) - you deserved it (4572)

On 05/09/2014 at 1:24pm - love - by WTTFFFF (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML

#21134153
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17914) - you deserved it (72187)

On 05/08/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend, and I cheekily told him about something I'd read that's supposed to feel really good during sex. I then heard his sister sarcastically say, "Yeah, that does feel pretty good". Apparently he'd had me on speaker the whole time. FML

#21126318
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48787) - you deserved it (8749)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML

#21113376
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41367) - you deserved it (7035)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:24am - misc - by heycutie - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML

#21107057
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45608) - you deserved it (5712)

On 04/07/2014 at 7:39pm - love - by AlonsoKold - United States (Michigan)

Today, the girl I've been dating dumped me after she found out I'm originally from Alabama. Apparently she doesn't want to date someone from a "foreign country". We both live in Michigan. FML

#21098622
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43946) - you deserved it (4073)

On 03/28/2014 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)



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