FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I found out where my stolen car was. It was all the way in Maine. I live in Ohio and I got a $300 fine for illegal parking. FML

by Bunsostriker / 04/02/2015 at 2:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML

by bingalingading / 03/30/2015 at 4:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

by BERNDTOAST / 03/27/2015 at 11:27am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, for the second time, I had an argument with my mother about whether William Shakespeare was a real person or not. FML

by ohno / 03/17/2015 at 4:35pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't stop looking at my phone while working. I work in the back room, and there is no clock in there. I look at my phone to check the time. That way I know how long I have left in that hellhole. FML

by lion2294 / 03/05/2015 at 4:19am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, my entire junior class took the ACT. On the last test, a classmate's phone went off, automatically invalidating the whole test. We all have to retake it. FML

by xXEmmaLieXx / 03/03/2015 at 12:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I fell in the shower and the doors jammed shut. I was stuck in there for hours, waiting for my parents to come home. They had to open the door for me while I was still naked inside. FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2015 at 10:20pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a friend's birthday party when I got a call from my mom telling me to come home because my dog died. When I told my friend that I had to leave because of the loss, she replied with, "Okay, but you brought my gift inside, right?" FML

by natashamilan / 02/25/2015 at 8:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

by Fuck / 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my boss refused to give me vacation time for my wedding and honeymoon because she didn't have a honeymoon and because of that apparently neither should I. FML

by bingalingading / 02/11/2015 at 8:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML

by itsemilyc / 02/02/2015 at 2:34pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy