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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, my sister compared me handling the news of recently being told that I have a devastating and very possibly fatal autoimmune disease, to that of a teenager being melodramatic. FML

#21329069
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32920) - you deserved it (2405)

On 01/02/2015 at 12:37am - health - by Sisterly Love - United States (Michigan)

Today, I called asking about a job I interviewed for 3 weeks ago. It's a scummy call center where known drug addicts work. They told me I wasn't getting the job. I guess my high school diploma and being drug-free makes me not good enough to work there. FML

Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML

#21324815
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14349) - you deserved it (35136)

On 12/26/2014 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as the "cheese stick incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML

#21319860
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30237) - you deserved it (3833)

On 12/18/2014 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to cum if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML

#21317298
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37438) - you deserved it (3780)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by dating a moron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out I have sodium fluoride poisoning. Apparently, my water has a high level of sodium fluorine. I've been drinking much more water lately trying to be healthier. FML

#21313951
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30837) - you deserved it (2509)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:23pm - health - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I injured my knee during dance class. When it started to feel a little bit better, I tried dancing again. I tripped, fell, and broke my wrist. FML

#21311641
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28305) - you deserved it (5543)

On 12/04/2014 at 8:54pm - health - by dumb dancer - United States (Michigan)

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

#21306727
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31449) - you deserved it (6514)

On 11/27/2014 at 10:13am - love - by fart - United States (Michigan)

Today, what few friends I have won't talk to me anymore. My ex told them she dumped me because I abused her. I never abused her. What really happened is that she dumped me in a rage after I refused to give her money for drugs. Nobody's even asked for my side of the story. FML

#21306153
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36378) - you deserved it (2280)

On 11/26/2014 at 11:42am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally noticed how lonely I am when I realized I was petting my couch while reading a book. FML

#21305429
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26796) - you deserved it (3482)

On 11/24/2014 at 9:17pm - misc - by Hammy - United States (Michigan)

Today, after realizing my flashcards had fallen out of my binder, I asked my teacher if I could quickly go to my locker to get them. She said no and told me to go sit down. As soon as class ended, I went to my locker and brought them to her. Her response? "Why didn't you ask me to get these during class?" FML

#21301020
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35192) - you deserved it (2480)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:10pm - work - by ohgosh... (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at work, a crazy customer forced me to promise to take a holiday greeting picture of my cat and myself for her. She says she'll be back and expects one. FML

#21300741
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28338) - you deserved it (3207)

On 11/17/2014 at 1:48pm - animals - by not crazy enough (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was counselling a soon-to-be teen mom. She has a younger step-brother, and when I asked her how she handled him when he cries, she said, "Oh, that's when you cover their face until they stop!" FML

#21300330
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31548) - you deserved it (2305)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)



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