FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, my ex girlfriend is sleeping over at my house. At some point while she was preparing to dump me, she became best friends with my sister. FML

by Freechbear / 09/17/2011 at 1:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my mom admitted that she always makes me put away the dishes because my obsessive compulsive tendencies force me to arrange the glasses and silverware by size, just the way she likes them. FML

by Awesome. / 09/14/2011 at 10:35pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2011 at 3:51pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

by I_dislike_Twilight / 09/08/2011 at 8:52am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was put on notice at work due to my "anger problem." Apparently, sighing in a meeting means you will be labeled as someone with a short temper. However the creepy stalker guy is on the fast track to management. FML

by blue / 09/08/2011 at 4:23am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, it was my last day at my dad's. I thought he'd want to say goodbye, instead he told me, "Hope you've got all your shit. Anything you leave, I'm burning." FML

by Panda_Bearr / 09/03/2011 at 12:33am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I've gotten the most calls of my life. Turns out the idiot who changed the sign on my local pizza hut put up the wrong phone number. My phone number. I've already received 16 calls. FML

by Marty / 08/24/2011 at 1:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

by Say Cheese / 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I got a ticket from a cop for not riding my bike in the bike lane. I wasn't riding in the bike lane because I was avoiding construction work. FML

by donny31459 / 08/10/2011 at 10:44am / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, my dad suggested that as an alternative to buying me new school clothes that actually fit, I should just join the swim team, lose some weight, and wear my stuff from last year. FML

by swmmr / 08/07/2011 at 3:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to pick up some of my clothes from my boyfriend's apartment. While searching under his bed he pulled out a tank top and bra and asked if they were mine. They weren't. FML

by ashlyn / 08/06/2011 at 1:41am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog. After a day of fun and getting cleaned up, I realized that my mom's ring was no longer on my finger. FML

by meganridner / 08/04/2011 at 12:05pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

by SydIsPrettyCool / 08/04/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Michigan) / Animals