FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, after realizing my flashcards had fallen out of my binder, I asked my teacher if I could quickly go to my locker to get them. She said no and told me to go sit down. As soon as class ended, I went to my locker and brought them to her. Her response? "Why didn't you ask me to get these during class?" FML

by ohgosh... / 11/17/2014 at 10:10pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, at work, a crazy customer forced me to promise to take a holiday greeting picture of my cat and myself for her. She says she'll be back and expects one. FML

by not crazy enough / 11/17/2014 at 1:48pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, I was counselling a soon-to-be teen mom. She has a younger step-brother, and when I asked her how she handled him when he cries, she said, "Oh, that's when you cover their face until they stop!" FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, a friend wanted to show me a game he bragged he was the best at. I beat his score on the first try, and now I have a black eye to prove it. FML

by SeaBind / 11/15/2014 at 7:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Geek

Today, I once again used my phone to get out of a conversation with someone, instead of actually talking to someone on it. FML

by Jakeok / 11/13/2014 at 7:04pm / United States (Michigan) / Geek

Today, while in a hospital waiting room, a man started talking to me. After a few minutes, he asked me what I did for a living, and I said I'm a stay-at-home mom. He looked me up and down and said, "Huh. No life ambitions, huh?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2014 at 2:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I ran a hand down my freshly shaven leg to appreciate the smoothness, only to come up with a hand covered in blood. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2014 at 9:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

by anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 3:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my father described me as "the sort of sucker women marry then cheat on all the time." My mother agreed with him. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 1:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I went to my grandma's yard sale, only to find my baby pictures being sold for 25 cents each. FML

by Forge / 10/11/2014 at 10:43am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

by hahaohyeahwow / 09/24/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend couldn't go on a date with me because his mom said no. He's 23. FML

by Serire / 09/22/2014 at 8:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Love