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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML

Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML

#21488169
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20915) - you deserved it (1405)

On 11/03/2015 at 10:10pm - work - by 123literateABC - United States (Michigan)

Today, when I went out to get some groceries with my mother, a small girl came up to me and said I was an "ugly egg" because I'm a bald girl. I had to shave my head in order to have brain surgery to relieve me of the symptoms of my neurological disorder. FML

#21486101
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29218) - you deserved it (1489)

On 10/30/2015 at 9:43am - health - by an egg - United States (Michigan)

Today, at school, I got in trouble for plagiarizing on a paper. The subject of said paper was where I see myself in ten years. FML

#21482801
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24150) - you deserved it (2271)

On 10/21/2015 at 10:37pm - love - by jzidar24 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom was watching me during my Taekwondo lessons. She was yelling at me to focus on my own work and to quit hanging out with the little kids. I'm the instructor. FML

#21474290
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25039) - you deserved it (1655)

On 09/29/2015 at 6:50pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came to work with a huge hangover after a night out. I work as a marching band director, and guess who I had to conduct a sectional with? That's right, percussion. My head still hasn't stopped throbbing. FML

#21464672
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11938) - you deserved it (26528)

On 09/04/2015 at 9:25pm - work - by oww - United States (Michigan)

Today, I brought home a new small glass necklace and put it somewhere I figured that the cats couldn't reach. I was wrong. Now I will be looking through kitty litter to find something smaller than a dime. Talk about needle in a haystack. FML

Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered "Fucking tryhard." FML

#21459168
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24114) - you deserved it (3192)

On 08/22/2015 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday, when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML

#21456651
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21013) - you deserved it (8228)

On 08/16/2015 at 8:39am - misc - by KeysToHappiness (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized I apologize too often as I said I was sorry to my boyfriend as he broke up with me. I apologized for being sad and making him feel bad. FML

#21455438
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24928) - you deserved it (5471)

On 08/13/2015 at 12:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my new puppy has worms by him scooting his butt across my new carpet. It's like smeared spaghetti. FML

#21451858
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24433) - you deserved it (2517)

On 08/04/2015 at 5:42pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friend offered to make me a playlist for the gym. I thought it was really thoughtful, until I started listening to it during my workout and realized that every single song was "Supersize Me" with the title changed. FML

#21451102
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22545) - you deserved it (2090)

On 08/02/2015 at 11:25pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to wait thirty minutes after closing to check out a lady who was purchasing 20 different styles of curtains. I asked what she would be doing with them all, and she replied that she would be bringing 19 of them back tomorrow, as she didn't know which would match. FML

#21448838
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26496) - you deserved it (1748)

On 07/28/2015 at 11:04pm - work - by jlmbull - United States (Michigan)



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