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FMLs submitted from Michigan

Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered "Fucking tryhard." FML

#21459168
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22782) - you deserved it (2938)

On 08/22/2015 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday, when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML

#21456651
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18999) - you deserved it (7604)

On 08/16/2015 at 8:39am - misc - by KeysToHappiness (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized I apologize too often as I said I was sorry to my boyfriend as he broke up with me. I apologized for being sad and making him feel bad. FML

#21455438
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23519) - you deserved it (5094)

On 08/13/2015 at 12:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my new puppy has worms by him scooting his butt across my new carpet. It's like smeared spaghetti. FML

#21451858
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23357) - you deserved it (2401)

On 08/04/2015 at 5:42pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friend offered to make me a playlist for the gym. I thought it was really thoughtful, until I started listening to it during my workout and realized that every single song was "Supersize Me" with the title changed. FML

#21451102
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21730) - you deserved it (1997)

On 08/02/2015 at 11:25pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to wait thirty minutes after closing to check out a lady who was purchasing 20 different styles of curtains. I asked what she would be doing with them all, and she replied that she would be bringing 19 of them back tomorrow, as she didn't know which would match. FML

#21448838
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25745) - you deserved it (1692)

On 07/28/2015 at 11:04pm - work - by jlmbull - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friend told me that Otter Box phone cases protect the phone whether it's thrown or just dropped. I disagreed. He then threw his phone across the room into a cement wall to prove it. The phone's screen was completely shattered and now he thinks I owe him a new phone. FML

#21447294
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28833) - you deserved it (2594)

On 07/26/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by TheAce44 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at work at a supermarket straightening shelves in the food aisles. Just as I had finished and got ready to clock out, I heard a giant crash. A lady in a motor scooter knocked over an entire aisle of canned goods. She got up and walked away just fine, pretending nothing happened. FML

Today, while swimming under water, my 80-pound lab thought I was drowning and tried to "rescue" me by jumping in after me, wrapping his front legs around my neck, and standing on my chest. FML

#21429802
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22061) - you deserved it (1747)

On 06/21/2015 at 10:16pm - animals - by Angel (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML

#21426414
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32050) - you deserved it (5036)

On 06/15/2015 at 10:49am - animals - by justin Bieber - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took my 6-year-old son to visit his grandmother, as the doctors say she only has days left to live. Minutes after we arrived, he leaned in close and told her that she's going to hell. FML

#21421237
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26642) - you deserved it (3232)

On 06/05/2015 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

Today, my phone got stolen at church. FML

#21418593
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28948) - you deserved it (3705)

On 05/31/2015 at 2:21pm - misc - by fffemaleee - United States (Michigan)



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