FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML

by fired / 05/13/2014 at 10:29am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2014 at 6:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, my ex-husband came to pick up our two kids for his weekend with them. Seeing his new girlfriend was in the car, and desperate for conversation, I asked her name. My kids unhesitatingly blurted out, "Mom". FML

by mommy / 04/17/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 10:27am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2014 at 8:16pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, every "entry level" job in my field is now requiring 2-5 years experience. I don't think they understand what "entry level" actually means. FML

by mr1234 / 03/05/2014 at 4:37pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

by fuck you, jack / 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter asked me the difference between "their" and "they're". This is the same child I've been spending thousands of dollars on to send to law school. FML

by Anonymous / 02/26/2014 at 4:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I opened up a snapchat from my best friend. I received a full and detailed view of her and her boyfriend having sex. All I wanted to know was how her Valentine's Day dinner went. FML

by waymoreiwanted / 02/14/2014 at 10:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I caught my boyfriend stealing money from my purse. He tried to turn it on me by claiming I'll owe him for the flowers he'll get me on Valentine's Day, then tried to make me feel guilty by saying the whole thing is for "selfish bitches anyway". FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2014 at 2:00pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, Facebook put something out that shows a video of your entire life on the website. A part of it showed your most popular status update. Mine was from when I got dumped at Christmas. FML

by BigLove / 02/04/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years told me that since I've proven my loyalty and faithfully stuck by his side, he has no reason to ever consider marrying me, because "It's not like you're going anywhere, honey." He seems not to understand why I am upset by this. FML

by heartbrokenhaley / 01/23/2014 at 3:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I was walking home from a horrible day at work, when some idiot emptied a trashcan on my head from his apartment balcony. He cried "Oh shit!" and apologized because I wasn't his intended target. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 12:28pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous