FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, my grandmother yelled at me for driving erratically. I was "driving" in a video game. FML

by Paws_Cat / 05/20/2015 at 2:35pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that maggots can live inside of a saxophone. FML

by McWhopper / 05/08/2015 at 1:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I get more pleasure watching YouTube videos of people lighting their farts on fire than I do from making love to my husband. FML

by wellfuck / 05/02/2015 at 10:23am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my boss gave me the job of dealing with the guys doing the roofing at our store. His reasoning is that since we're all Hispanic, I'm perfect for the job because "You guys all know each other." FML

by -_- / 04/22/2015 at 11:06am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML

by ihatekids / 04/20/2015 at 12:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

Today, I dislocated my toe while putting on my socks. FML

by billy / 03/31/2015 at 6:54am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

by screwedupfuck / 03/27/2015 at 5:19pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my stomach started to hurt. When I got home, my parents had company over, which I had to rush past to use the bathroom. After being in the bathroom for about 3 minutes, my mother yells to me from the other room, in front of the guests, "Are you OK in there?" I'm 27. FML

by struckbystarzz / 03/27/2015 at 9:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going OK, until he started asking me if he should stick with the site until he finds the right person. I guess I know how he feels about me, at least. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2015 at 11:19pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I got to listen to my boss lecture me about professional dress and subtly insinuate that my being on the heavier side top-wise with all the men in the office could be a problem. I've worn turtle necks for the whole two months I've been working there. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2015 at 6:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, after struggling for over a year with it, and now having it medically confirmed, I told my step-dad about my depression. He gave me a disgusted look and scoffed, "Toughen up, cunt." FML

by fine / 02/28/2015 at 12:22am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2015 at 2:45am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to work with a great attitude, something that doesn't happen often. It was shortly ruined after some lady yelled at me because I accidentally shorted her one penny. Yep. One single penny. FML

by WhyMe / 01/25/2015 at 8:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work