Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, I was at my 3 year-old niece's birthday party. I was swinging on their swing set when she walked directly into my path. I tried to jump off the swing, but I could not stop myself in time. I ended up kicking her in the face and giving her a black eye. Happy birthday! FML

#1470425
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39700) - you deserved it (9770)

On 04/29/2009 at 8:14pm - misc - by BrandNewKadillak - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, is my boyfriend and my 3 year anniversary. We decided to give each other something that we really needed. I bought him the $300 worth of books that he needed for college. He surprised me with a workout video and exercise equipment. FML

#1322520
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45756) - you deserved it (9645)

On 04/25/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by fmlgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking through town when I saw a plastic bag on the ground. Trying to be a good citizen, I picked it up, intending on throwing it in the trash. When I looked up, there wasn't a trash can for another hundred feet. So I put it back down. Now I've got a $200 fine to pay for littering. FML

#1303608
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21848) - you deserved it (52298)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by fml (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

#1253914
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56705) - you deserved it (5166)

On 04/23/2009 at 11:51am - work - by helen_ (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my shower is being renovated so I decided to wash my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal on accident. FML

#1206397
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64339) - you deserved it (24427)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:12pm - kids - by hairball (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, when I was walking in to the grocery store, a van pulls up and a bunch of guys get out who look really drunk. I jokingly said to the sober-looking man who had driven the van "Sucks you have to be the designated driver!" Turns out the "Drunk" guys were actually mentally challenged. FML

#1178108
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12009) - you deserved it (57956)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by dummy441 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, for my mom's 50th birthday all she wanted was this gold bracelet. It was too much money for me to buy so I bought the same one in silver. Right before I gave it to her, my older sister gave her the gold bracelet which made her cry. When I gave her my present she just said "oh." FML

#1105841
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59727) - you deserved it (4717)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:27am - misc - by ohhotdamn (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was folding the laundry. At one point, I had to take a moment to figure out whether a pair of underwear was mine or my mothers. I'm 18. She is 56. Enough said. FML

#1090882
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45100) - you deserved it (10399)

On 04/18/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by granny_panties (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a football sleepover with all of my teammates. I felt something near the bottom of my sleeping bag, and I pulled it up with my foot. My entire team watched me pull out a red thong. My parents had been on a camping trip the week before. FML

#943953
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58935) - you deserved it (3161)

On 04/13/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by TrueStories (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the guy that I like took me on to the Cavaliers game. At the game, on the jumbotron they do a thing where they show couples and have them kiss, the camera goes on to us and as I go into kiss him he turns and says "not in this lifetime". The entire stadium got to see me get rejected. FML

#934076
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124752) - you deserved it (9146)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:40pm - love - by cavgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I parked my car on the street to go to the gym. When i came back my car was blocked by a parade of people. I turned to a shop worker smoking a cigarette and said "Jesus! What the hell is going on?" I got many strange looks. It was a Good Friday parade lead by a local church. FML

#920023
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13695) - you deserved it (41864)

On 04/11/2009 at 10:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend got the breast implants she's been wanting for the last 5 years. When I went to pick her up at the hospital she said, "Maybe I can find a guy with a real job now!" I paid for her fake tits. FML

#913985
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57779) - you deserved it (18258)

On 04/11/2009 at 11:47am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

#900029
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61046) - you deserved it (2605)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:35am - kids - by mandy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: