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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and mom standing over me frantically asking mehat was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombie off" in sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

#4501918
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46432) - you deserved it (12250)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

YESTERDAY I WAS WORKING IN A WAREHOUSEHERE FELLOW EMPLOYEES WERE KICKING EMPTY BOXES AROUND. SEEING A BOX, I GOT RUNNING DISTANCE AN KICKD IT AS HARD AS I COULD, ONLY TO LOOK UP IN HORROR TO SEE THAT I HAD KICKD INTO OUR CEO'S FACE. I STILL HAD BOTH MY ARMS UP IN SCORE MODE. FML

#4417432
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10204) - you deserved it (45096)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:03am - work - by zwillywilly (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I drunkenly made out with my 65 year-old married female boss!! I'm a 21 year-old male intern!! I have a feeling work will be awkward tomorrow!! FML

#4389779
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11718) - you deserved it (64898)

On 08/08/2009 at 6:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met a hot guy at a club an we really hit it off. We went back to his place an we got down to business. After, I noticed he had an iPod Touch on his nightstand. I complimented him on it an he responded with, "Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me as an anniversary present." FML

#4360788
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18243) - you deserved it (51433)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:09pm - love - by accidentalslut (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today I was having sex with boyfriend . Halfway through he asked me what day it was . I told him "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling "Oh God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel . FML

#4359063
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46061) - you deserved it (7653)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , I went to the Grand Canyon with my family!! Also today , I found out that I have a crippling fear of heights!! My family left me on a ledge hyperventilating an having a mental breakdown,hile they hiked for another 2 hours!! They won't stop telling me how pretty it was anhat I missed!! FML

#4341464
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37823) - you deserved it (8111)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by a-scared (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

yesterday I was leaving the mall. I Instinctively hit the unlock button on my car keys from across the parking lot. Little did I know I was making it a whole lot easier fir the guy breaking into my car. FML

#4297641
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41178) - you deserved it (11801)

On 08/05/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML

#4247689
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68379) - you deserved it (3982)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by dumb (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

today ma boyfriend and I decided to be totally onest wit eac oter. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in opes of strengtening our relationsip. He told me e ad a diaper fetis, and would love to see me in one. Tere goes ma sex life. mega FML

#4207325
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52891) - you deserved it (12418)

On 08/01/2009 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Maria39018 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I Went Fir A Run. I Endd Up Being Tackld By Two Cops, Handcuffd, And Draggd To The Station With No Explanation. Turns Out A House Nearby Had Been Robbd And The Best Description They Got Was 'A Man Running'. I Didn't Even Get An Apology. FML

#4196733
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56499) - you deserved it (2363)

On 08/01/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend told me e was going out tonigt to celebrate is ex-but-still-friends-grlfriend's brtday at a local club and opes I wasn't offended tat I wasn't invited . I sure am offended; we ave te same brtday . FML

#4136342
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75462) - you deserved it (3571)

On 07/29/2009 at 3:32pm - love - by imscrewed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

yesterday I had a job interview, but I arrivd kind of late. I was in so much of a hurry that I hit a woman walking by in the face with the door. I offerd to drive her to the hospital. Turns out that she was going to be interviewing me. She didn't offer to reschedule. FML

#4068517
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32734) - you deserved it (12005)

On 07/27/2009 at 12:07am - work - by OhNo. (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today... I was firad from tha babysitting job I hava had fir 2 yaars. I thought mayba tha mothar had found out that I somatimas lat har kids stay up lata an hava axtra swaats. Tha raal raason... as sha told ma... was that sha didn't want har kids loving anyona mora than thay lova har. big fat FML

#3949898
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52508) - you deserved it (3088)

On 07/22/2009 at 8:17am - work - by babysitter93 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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