Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, my fiancé pawned off my engagement ring so he could buy himself a PS4. FML

#21320958
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35848) - you deserved it (4466)

On 12/20/2014 at 3:00pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I put a picture on Facebook of me without makeup. A "friend" commented: "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied: "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML

#21312632
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30533) - you deserved it (3356)

On 12/06/2014 at 3:22pm - misc - by fistycunt4 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while working in a restaurant, a woman told me I was completely incompetent, was the worst hostess she'd ever seen, and that she would call my district manager non-stop until I was fired. I'd clocked in less than 10 minutes before and hadn't said a single word to her. FML

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

#21308242
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33471) - you deserved it (3033)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML

#21302388
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30232) - you deserved it (3334)

On 11/19/2014 at 9:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned that the blisters that popped up this morning on my hands and feet are a result of a virus that takes two weeks to fully heal. After I told my roommates to be careful, one of them decided that NOW was a good time to tell us she had it last week. FML

#21292851
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31122) - you deserved it (2039)

On 11/05/2014 at 5:52pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my sweet tooth went to a whole different level when I took a swig out of a bottle of maple syrup. FML

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38070) - you deserved it (5957)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my mom's birthday. Got the perfect gift, the perfect card and of course the perfect cake. Well, it was the perfect cake until my dog's ass crushed it. FML

Today, as I was about to leave home for my first sweet taste of freedom at my new apartment, my car died. I'm stuck here for at least the weekend and can look forward to my mom driving me to work. Freedom. FML

#21274254
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28617) - you deserved it (2673)

On 10/09/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by gonesofast - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML

#21270609
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36408) - you deserved it (2595)

On 10/04/2014 at 10:58am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to bend my iPhone 6 like there's no tomorrow. FML

#21268378
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40516) - you deserved it (13647)

On 09/30/2014 at 2:48pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33411) - you deserved it (3944)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: