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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Massachusetts

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML

#20074444
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8633) - you deserved it (55202)

On 09/16/2012 at 11:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

#20067539
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28562) - you deserved it (5889)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by apparently inexperienced (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML

#20062873
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40260) - you deserved it (2183)

On 09/08/2012 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML

#20053940
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24214) - you deserved it (12848)

On 09/02/2012 at 11:38am - intimacy - by scot - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom told me that she rather wait for the city bus all day, than allow me to give her a ride. FML

#20052248
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16087) - you deserved it (3121)

On 09/01/2012 at 9:58am - misc - by Chucho - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML

#20045388
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28870) - you deserved it (1754)

On 08/27/2012 at 10:57pm - misc - by spekledworf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I'm apparently so desperate for companionship that my body has subconsciously synced my period with the girl who works in the cubicle adjacent to mine. FML

#20044589
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16706) - you deserved it (2422)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:20pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a flat tire. The spare was also flat, so I had no other choice but to walk home. I got to my house and realized I'd left the front door key and garage clicker in my car 5 miles away. FML

#20044019
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19810) - you deserved it (9073)

On 08/27/2012 at 3:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML

#20040696
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18842) - you deserved it (8179)

On 08/25/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after a few weeks of smuggling a baby caterpillar into work every day just to make sure it ate and stayed alive long enough to turn into a butterfly, it finally did. Before it could fly free, a bird turned it into a snack. FML

#20033849
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25240) - you deserved it (5471)

On 08/21/2012 at 12:56pm - animals - by goodbyefriend - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML

#20031596
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21487) - you deserved it (5514)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

#20016279
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48208) - you deserved it (3169)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by happybirthday - United States (Massachusetts)



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