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FMLs submitted from Maryland

Today, my girlfriend was feeling a little down, so I tried to console her. She said she just needed space and I respected that. Then an hour later she was fine, so I asked how she did it. She replied that she talked to her ex for a whole hour. This is a common procedure. FML

#21353256
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38673) - you deserved it (4971)

On 02/10/2015 at 7:59am - love - by krh14 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boss informed me I couldn't go on my "vacation" because he's leaving for one of his employees' weddings. That just so happens to be my wedding, for which I'm taking the vacation. FML

Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML

#21347496
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32246) - you deserved it (2436)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:43pm - health - by Lunab123 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. I called the fire department and told them where I was. They said they'd be right there and not to panic. It's hour 6. FML

#21332463
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35678) - you deserved it (2360)

On 01/07/2015 at 1:03am - health - by random875 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got fired from my job because my boss thinks that me doing everything he says makes me untrustworthy. FML

#21331517
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31115) - you deserved it (2241)

On 01/05/2015 at 7:16pm - work - by zacharynedley - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML

#21329473
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31303) - you deserved it (9662)

On 01/02/2015 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got a letter from my long time boyfriend asking me to meet him at the place we first met for a "surprise". I can't remember where that even is. FML

#21327916
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29097) - you deserved it (12246)

On 12/31/2014 at 3:59pm - love - by lunab123 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML

#21312253
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37933) - you deserved it (2910)

On 12/05/2014 at 10:35pm - love - by Michelle - United States (Maryland)

Today, I discovered that the reason the phone I've had for a year takes such terrible and cloudy pictures is because I never took the plastic coating off the lens. FML

Today, my boyfriend pretended to be reading braille while touching my chest acne. FML

#21295903
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42810) - you deserved it (7255)

On 11/10/2014 at 12:01am - intimacy - by annababyyyy - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to google the definition of transsexual just to know what the hell my friends were talking about. I need to read a book. FML

#21282666
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16739) - you deserved it (26545)

On 10/21/2014 at 8:36pm - misc - by Awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

#21281374
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35704) - you deserved it (3562)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm - kids - by team hit bella with a car (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was going to put some Italian dressing on my salad when I noticed that the oil and vinegar weren't mixed. After putting the cap back on, I shook as hard as I could. The cap came flying off and I showered myself in the dressing. FML

#21258902
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29537) - you deserved it (8975)

On 09/15/2014 at 5:37pm - misc - by imamess (man) - United States (Maryland)



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