Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Maryland

Today, my boyfriend said to me, "You know how I know I love you? I don't want you to leave after we have sex." He thinks that's a compliment. FML

#15871654
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33262) - you deserved it (11549)

On 04/21/2011 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My boyfriend and I have been dying to have kids together. This would be an exciting moment if he wasn't deploying in June and will miss everything except the morning sickness. FML

#15532059
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42182) - you deserved it (6427)

On 03/28/2011 at 3:10pm - love - by AFGirlfriend (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my crush gave me a ride home. When I opened the door to get out, he switched the gear to reverse, thinking the car was in park. I got run over by the car door. FML

#15354612
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30896) - you deserved it (3418)

On 03/17/2011 at 5:26pm - misc - by boom - United States (Maryland)

Today, the bus came to pick up my daughter to take her to kindergarten. When it honked, I opened the door for her to let her run out to it. Halfway there she tripped and started crying. I couldn't run out because I was still in my underwear. Now her bus thinks I'm the worst mom ever. FML

#15313960
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17402) - you deserved it (38779)

On 03/14/2011 at 10:25pm - kids - by mommylovesu (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML

#14994829
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29649) - you deserved it (6427)

On 02/15/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by Ihavealisp (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I rummaged around in the attic, looking for old pictures of me and my family, so I could make a surprise collage. Instead, I found my dad's old journals, talking about how desperately he didn't want a kid, and how he wanted to leave my mother more and more every day that passed since I was born. FML

#14974571
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40032) - you deserved it (3503)

On 02/14/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by surfergal91 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to go use an automatic cart in Walmart because I broke my hip in January. They were all being used by morbidly obese people throughout the store. I asked a manager if she could get me one, but apparently their weight issues are more impeding than my broken hip. FML

#14873123
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36818) - you deserved it (3271)

On 02/06/2011 at 9:36pm - misc - by LimpMcgee (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my power went out due to a huge snow storm. I was in desperate need of candles and flashlights. I had to walk to the store since the roads were closed. I walked 4 miles in the blizzard. When I got home, the power came back on. FML

#14727307
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26807) - you deserved it (7761)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:11am - misc - by iamlauraheremecry (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I hit a deer with a rental car... which I had to rent because I hit a deer with my car last week. FML

#14593479
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24903) - you deserved it (19413)

On 01/15/2011 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while at training with several of my co-workers, I realized I was the only woman. The only thing one of them said to me the entire day was "DUDE!" while staring at my chest as I took my coat off in the morning. FML

#14558883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23376) - you deserved it (3436)

On 01/12/2011 at 9:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I worked a full day and then went to a three-hour class. I got home at 9 PM, and before the door closed I heard, "There's a sink full of dishes for you." There are three able-bodied men in the house, all of whom got here hours ago and created that sink full of dishes. FML

#14558780
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29460) - you deserved it (4320)

On 01/12/2011 at 9:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

#14412798
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34083) - you deserved it (3299)

On 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by ilik3catz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out my no-work-experience brother has just accepted a 50k/year job. He is still in school and has never had a job. I work as an intern for 11 hours a day, get rude emails from my boss, and have 3 degrees and 5 years work experience. FML

#14126795
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29077) - you deserved it (4319)

On 12/08/2010 at 12:17am - work - by underemployed (man) - United States (Maryland)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: