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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Manitoba

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he was about to cum I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door just as he came. Didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

#13571310
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12029) - you deserved it (37936)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by stickyface (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend, the love of my life. Actually I ran into a billboard for her college, where apparently she is the new "poster girl" for their advertising campaign. I have now seen her on 2 billboards, a newspaper ad and a bus. FML

#13209934
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28520) - you deserved it (2990)

On 09/26/2010 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my husband has been out of town for a week. The only text I've got from him was, "I didn't take a poop today." FML

#12748634
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29538) - you deserved it (3561)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:08am - love - by TextsAlot (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out what cat food tastes like mixed with mayo, hot sauce, and between two perfectly toasted pieces of rye bread. My cat found out what tuna tastes like instead of her normal food. FML

#11310878
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10820) - you deserved it (31730)

On 06/19/2010 at 12:27pm - animals - by kasai_x0x (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that my family hides food from me. FML

#10893433
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24642) - you deserved it (17888)

On 05/31/2010 at 9:09pm - health - by Stupid_Chick - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML

#10761245
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20720) - you deserved it (36446)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my dad and I were in the car when a rabbit scurried across the road, just missing us. My dad turned and said to me, "Well, it's good we didn't hit him. He gets to live another day." I then looked in the rear view mirror to see the rabbit running away from the cross traffic, only to be hit by the car behind us. FML

#9102050
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23883) - you deserved it (3210)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:44pm - misc - by bunnylover (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my parents took my laptop, cut the Internet, took my car keys and TV, and removed my bedroom door. Why? Because they thought the plant I was growing for my science project was a marijuana plant. Oh yeah, they took that too. My presentation is tomorrow. FML

#8965755
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34348) - you deserved it (2515)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by Kevin - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, a drunk truck driver taught me a very valuable lesson: Never tie your shoelaces in the middle of a parking lot. FML

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

#8878424
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26258) - you deserved it (3835)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm - misc - by bathroomblunder (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, a guy commented on a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook, and said to please stop 'testing' him. He also messaged me saying how he wishes he could get a girlfriend like me, that I'm gorgeous, and that he wants to go out with me. I'm his cousin. FML

#8830762
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34155) - you deserved it (2894)

On 03/04/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Brandee - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, there was this girl in heels running in front of me at school, and she slipped on ice. Trying to be a hero, I dropped my backpack and ran up to help her, but ended up slipping and landing on her leg. As I walked back to my backpack, I found out I dropped my laptop and broke it. FML

#7908847
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30254) - you deserved it (13185)

On 02/05/2010 at 4:27pm - misc - by POP101 (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my crush went on webcam on MSN. He looked really adorable, so I took about 6 screen shots and copied them into paint. I accidentally took a screenshot of my screen with all the pictures on paint and copied it into the conversation. FML

#7575221
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6824) - you deserved it (40488)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by 420dits (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



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