Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Manitoba

Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML

#19920264
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26140) - you deserved it (1697)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by Deadcat101 - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

#19920201
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22376) - you deserved it (5911)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm - animals - by Nomoreballs (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

#19730259
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32740) - you deserved it (3217)

On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML

#19564735
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30397) - you deserved it (2138)

On 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML

#19546385
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9791) - you deserved it (18360)

On 04/29/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was adjusting my nose piercing from the inside. My mother saw and thought I was picking my nose, so she slapped my hand away, tearing my nose ring out in the process. FML

#19361300
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31082) - you deserved it (8464)

On 03/28/2012 at 12:16am - misc - by ouchouchouch - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19358) - you deserved it (79955)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML

#17316744
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32126) - you deserved it (2478)

On 07/31/2011 at 2:18am - misc - by isucksomuch - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, at work, a regular started talking to me. Subject of choice? His overwhelming amount of earwax. Apparently he'd like to make a candle out of it once he goes to the doctor to get it removed. FML

#17106852
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21614) - you deserved it (1936)

On 07/14/2011 at 11:25am - work - by Breanne - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was playing tetherball with my younger brother. I get really competitive, so I threw it as hard as I could. It came around and hit me in the face. FML

#16879498
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8790) - you deserved it (51127)

On 06/27/2011 at 10:09am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200 and a dog who apparently has a thing for marshmallows. FML

#15198573
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29441) - you deserved it (5786)

On 03/04/2011 at 5:57pm - money - by duncanisgey - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML

#15012156
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10311) - you deserved it (52186)

On 02/17/2011 at 2:02am - intimacy - by biglady (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

#14371571
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29430) - you deserved it (4666)

On 12/28/2010 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by whoawhoawhoa (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: