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FMLs submitted from Maine

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44985) - you deserved it (5629)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was at church, when my mom's phone went off during the sermon. As if that wasn't humiliating enough for me, her ring tone was set to the Bed Intruder song. FML

#20430388
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27545) - you deserved it (3717)

On 12/29/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by killme (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was at Walmart when I saw my grandpa in the next aisle looking at magazines. Wanting to surprise him, I ran up behind him and hugged him around the middle. Up close, I realized he wasn't my grandpa. FML

#20420733
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15433) - you deserved it (26591)

On 12/25/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML

#20187165
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24145) - you deserved it (1814)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:01pm - misc - by potheadloljk (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to the surprise birthday party of an ex I still love, though I'm the one who ended things. I walked in in time to see her screaming "Yes" to her kneeling boyfriend, her parents crying and applauding, and her brothers patting him on the back. FML

#20110139
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9282) - you deserved it (45994)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:26am - love - by Toolate (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML

#20085042
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27758) - you deserved it (2096)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by creepedasfuck (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML

#20070030
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22934) - you deserved it (2120)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)

Today, I had to explain to my teacher that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country. She kicked me out of class when she found out I was right. FML

#20049540
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28560) - you deserved it (1877)

On 08/30/2012 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I was giving a tour of my boat to a man who seemed interested in purchasing it. Everything was going great. That is, until, the motor stopped running in the middle of the ocean. FML

#20047299
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21347) - you deserved it (2578)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:52am - money - by anon - United States (Maine)

Today, I got stumped by a childproof door. Twice. FML

#20034503
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14003) - you deserved it (6546)

On 08/21/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by mr_flarpin (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML

#20010519
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21047) - you deserved it (3002)

On 08/08/2012 at 11:29pm - kids - by bellabreeze - United States (Maine)

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

#20002229
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23750) - you deserved it (3187)

On 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by fuckingbeliebers (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML

#19929882
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29476) - you deserved it (6421)

On 07/12/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by lostforlife - United States (Maine)



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