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FMLs submitted from Maine

Today, I now need to include in my prerequisites for a potential date, "Must not pull a knife out on one of my guy friends for hugging me." I'm so done with online dating. FML

Today, I went in for an interview for my first ever job. Just seconds after meeting the boss, I slipped on the linoleum floor. I was wearing a skirt. FML

#21477906
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23640) - you deserved it (2137)

On 10/09/2015 at 12:58pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my ex told me about how much the person she left me for loves the lingerie I bought her. FML

#21468699
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26349) - you deserved it (2092)

On 09/15/2015 at 7:47am - love - by Anon E. Mouse - United States (Maine)

Today, a very intoxicated man came in to my workplace and bought 50 dollars worth of yogurt, talked about the fact that he shouldn't have to wear pants in public, then threw up all over the register. FML

Today, my mother found out about the psychology exam I have to take tomorrow. Before leaving for her vacation this morning, she grabbed the internet router and took it with her to "get rid of distractions". I have one day to figure out how to access this online exam without Internet. FML

#21436769
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27274) - you deserved it (1869)

On 07/05/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by getting real crafty.. - United States (Maine)

Today, I was walking behind my mother when she was mowing the lawn. She unknowingly mowed over a wasps' nest that was in the grass. Guess who the wasps decided to seek revenge on. FML

Today, I walked into my boss' office to ask for a raise, and walked out unemployed. FML

#21414059
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28567) - you deserved it (4752)

On 05/22/2015 at 3:44pm - work - by zheiraT - United States (Maine)

Today, I got my driver's license. My dad made multiple copies of his insurance cards for me to give to people when I inevitably hit them. Because "Let's face it." FML

Today, is the blizzard. I have to go into work, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't show up. I sent him a picture of the snow completely covering my car. He said I moved the snow there and could move it back. FML

#21345232
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28703) - you deserved it (2088)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:50pm - work - by bitchypast - United States (Maine)

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

#21340142
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34019) - you deserved it (7157)

On 01/19/2015 at 9:34am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to a job interview. It was my last shot of getting a job before my savings run dry. It all went well until I was asked why I wanted to join the company. I got flustered and stuttered, "Because I um, I like money?" The guy gave me the most insincere "We'll be in touch." ever. FML

#21339665
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28160) - you deserved it (8869)

On 01/18/2015 at 4:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38114) - you deserved it (4344)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, my school textbook's back cover ripped off. Not wanting to have my teacher find out, I glued the cover back together. Only after the glue dried did I realize that I actually glued the back cover upside down. FML



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