Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Louisiana

Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML

#16723796
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32692) - you deserved it (6017)

On 06/18/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by callie - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

#16661318
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37508) - you deserved it (3540)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by ugh - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

#16561931
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18609) - you deserved it (40258)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:47pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had to take care of my best friend while she was drunk. This meant changing her pee-soaked sheets, making her take a bath to get all the baby powder off, and making her put clothes on as she tried to run out the house naked. FML

#16277369
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (4289)

On 05/21/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML

#16166972
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28668) - you deserved it (4892)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to take a pair of scissors to all my bras. My mom can't take me shopping for another three days and I have no one to borrow a bra from. I have school. FML

#16003587
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41041) - you deserved it (4137)

On 05/01/2011 at 12:11pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said "you know you can't wash and reuse these." FML

#15846641
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26933) - you deserved it (21151)

On 04/19/2011 at 12:19pm - misc - by killercow - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I finally started my job as an in-home caregiver. The man I was hired to care for died two hours after I made it to his house. FML

#15834810
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43900) - you deserved it (3625)

On 04/18/2011 at 3:24pm - work - by nurseITHINKNOT - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out that to save on expenses, my wife booked a very small hotel room for ourselves and the kids while we visit Disney World. I've been officially cockblocked by Mickey Mouse. FML

#15029683
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35391) - you deserved it (7949)

On 02/18/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Disney - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I printed out a picture of the popular girl in school as a sort of 'model' for how I wanted my hair cut. The hairdresser taped the picture to the mirror so he could see. Halfway through, my 'model' came in for an appointment. FML

#14993879
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30906) - you deserved it (20894)

On 02/15/2011 at 8:34pm - misc - by nerdychick (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after informing my boss I needed stress leave from my 70 hour a week shifts, I got my new work assignment. Sixty hours a week starting at 2am. FML

#14942449
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26687) - you deserved it (3794)

On 02/11/2011 at 11:02pm - work - by NotAMorningPerson - United States (Louisiana)

Today, as I'm pregnant, my mom came over to do some nice things for me, such as clean my kitchen and cook a large pot of my favorite soup. When she left, I took a nap, planning to eat later. I woke up to find my roommates had trashed my kitchen and eaten all my soup. FML

#14542234
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29720) - you deserved it (3882)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was at my boyfriends house, in the bathroom. I noticed a pregnancy test in the trash can. He lives alone. FML

#14525789
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37980) - you deserved it (2839)

On 01/09/2011 at 9:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: