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FMLs submitted from Louisiana

Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication" category my boss wrote that I "act like an asshole." FML

#21354453
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25268) - you deserved it (5151)

On 02/11/2015 at 10:59pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I spent a half hour trying to help my cat down after he got stuck in the tree on my lawn. I finally gave up and called a local tree care company to help. When I returned outside, I found my cat casually walking about by the door. The guy who showed up to help was not happy. FML

#21341011
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24941) - you deserved it (4748)

On 01/20/2015 at 3:24pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I confronted my wife because I thought the many hours a day she spends at a local coffee shop were so she could smoke. Turns out she's cheating on me. FML

#21337071
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33727) - you deserved it (2692)

On 01/14/2015 at 4:48pm - love - by SouthPaw (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, the lady whose son I babysit sent me a text, saying she left a gift for me for all the hard work I've done. I found a beautifully-wrapped box where she said the gift was. It turned out my actual gift was cookies sitting right next to it. FML

Today, while my boyfriend and I were talking with his sister-in-law about a TV show, his 6-year-old nephew walked up just in time to hear how Santa killed the protagonist's parents. I've never seen such a heartbroken face in my life, and now he won't stop asking if Santa kills people. FML

#21309908
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28040) - you deserved it (3770)

On 12/02/2014 at 2:52am - kids - by xmassmasher - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out that the neighborhood call-girl my husband and I secretly joke about is the same woman who secretly pleasures my husband for money. FML

#21263093
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41315) - you deserved it (4797)

On 09/22/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by mislead - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was finally given a parking spot at work. It turns out to be between an expensive sports car that never parks straight and a giant truck too big for its space. FML

#21215497
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42540) - you deserved it (3114)

On 07/20/2014 at 7:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML

#21180841
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42283) - you deserved it (9472)

On 06/19/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by fuckmyjob (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML

#21159616
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48968) - you deserved it (5275)

On 06/01/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by anikah (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML

#21143150
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45844) - you deserved it (3765)

On 05/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by 2ndgenoration (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML

#21124429
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36989) - you deserved it (5687)

On 04/27/2014 at 3:16pm - misc - by failureatlife - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

#21120721
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36067) - you deserved it (13186)

On 04/23/2014 at 10:54am - misc - by killmenow (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML

#21068474
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48417) - you deserved it (7512)

On 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by coppervains (woman) - United States (Louisiana)



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