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FMLs submitted from London, City of

Today, I was told by a friend that mah girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere 4 sex. My mother's responsehen I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." fat FML

#20742827
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48967) - you deserved it (4653)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:19pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today , Mah Boyfriend Asked If I Could Grow Out Mah Pubic Hair Since I Usually Wax It. He Said His Mom Has A Full Bush And He Always Thought It Looks Better That Way. FML

#20719191
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84140) - you deserved it (6912)

On 06/11/2013 at 8:00am - intimacy - by notyourmom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

my mum made me take er poodle on a walk , wic se'd dressed in a tiara and a pink dog dress!! Being a 19-year-old guy , I was pissed!! After I got ome , I saw tat ma mom ad filmed me from te window and posted it to Facebook , to everyone's great deligt!! FML

#20695533
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46119) - you deserved it (5472)

On 05/30/2013 at 4:25pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with grlfriend. FML

#20692661
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64941) - you deserved it (14360)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as parents phoned the police thinking I was a burglar. FML

#20679356
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38995) - you deserved it (3410)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got a mosquito bite on ma cest . Due to a severe allergic reaction it as swollen ma left breast a cup size . Te frst ting ma boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of tem." FML

#20667435
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61321) - you deserved it (6016)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter filmsho I've had a crush on since I was about ten!! I trid to play it cool, and pretend I didn't knowho he was!! Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune!! FML

#20633236
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23099) - you deserved it (41833)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Taday I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticd a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing drectly towards the shower which I stood in butt-nakd!! I live by myself an have recently only movd in!! FML

#20627067
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62393) - you deserved it (3330)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by wtfisgoingon (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I Ad To Explain To Ma Friend Tat Te Ot Girl E's Been Sending Nudes To And Cybering Wit Fir Te Past Mont Is Probably A Bored, Fat-as-fuck, Balding Male Living In Is Mum's Basement. Te Look On Is Face After I Proved Tat "er" Pictures Were Fake Broke Ma Eart. FML

#20623794
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41789) - you deserved it (8179)

On 04/26/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by sanoria51 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

2day my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. big fat FML

#20620173
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29536) - you deserved it (43429)

On 04/25/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by goingtobeevicted - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I Walked In On My Husband Eating Cat Food Out Of The Cat Bowl Dressed In A Cat Costume. FML

#20577178
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52689) - you deserved it (5798)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

#20572997
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46831) - you deserved it (5552)

On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends an my boyfriend . During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass . My boyfriend pointed an said, ( Babe, you took his drink . ) My friend responded by putting his arm round me an saying, ( Whatever, I took her virginity . ) FML

#20563680
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64794) - you deserved it (16433)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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