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FMLs submitted from Kentucky

Today , I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said , "This one is fir your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML

#18057000
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26194) - you deserved it (4060)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:08pm - love - by Mrs. Terrified - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while at work being a waitress, this lady cummed in and requested to sit in the section I was waitressing. She held up a $100 bill and told me that if I was attentive to her needs, she would leave me a $100 tip. Excited, I waited on her hand and foot. She dined and dashed. FML

#17894679
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42148) - you deserved it (5163)

On 10/03/2011 at 9:05am - work - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, mah girlfriend changd her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicatd because I didn't give her mah last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

#17859546
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30481) - you deserved it (11378)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm - love - by danthecomplicate - United States (Kentucky)

TODAY, I FOUND OUT THAT MY EX-GIRLFRIEND, THE GIRL I COMPLETELY LOVE, IS NOW DATING MY FATHER . SHE TRIED GIVING ME THE ( I KNOW I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER.. . ) SPEECH . FML

#17823429
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52991) - you deserved it (2671)

On 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Yesterday, I realized that the place that mah brother and I would find soggy balloon and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitute take their clients. We were blowing up used condom fir a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85742) - you deserved it (13156)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, mah girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All cuz she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. mega FML

#17699087
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37697) - you deserved it (4648)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I askd my boyfriend y he didn't believe in marriage. His response was, "I believe in marriage. Just not marriage with you." FML

#17670643
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37435) - you deserved it (5462)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by jellyybean - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into bedroom closet as I went to get dressed looool for work. mega FML

#17605215
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19448) - you deserved it (2156)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by ant_hater (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I Married The Man Of Mah Dreams. At The After-party, Mah Psycho Grandma Stood Up, Called 4 Quiet, An Engaged In A Long Rant About How This Was "the Beginning Of The End" An Advising Everyone That The Secret To A Successful Marriage Is "cheating, Plain An Simple". FML

#17539435
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31262) - you deserved it (2844)

On 08/21/2011 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

TODAY, I LERENED THAT IF U STARE DOWN AN ATTRACTIVE MAN WHILE PUMPING GAS, HE'LL STARE BACK. THEN HE MIGHT ASK FOR YUR NUMBER. AT WHICH POINT HIS GIRLFRIEND WILL GET OUT OF THE CAR AN THREATEN TO KICK YUR ASS. FML

#17413656
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27751) - you deserved it (11633)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by **(: - United States (Kentucky)

Today my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge!! I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire!! FML

#17326829
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28098) - you deserved it (5203)

On 08/01/2011 at 12:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I moved into mah new house . I went over to mah neighbors' house to introduce myself . As they opened the door I saw a telescope pointed at mah house . FML

#17066979
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34634) - you deserved it (2664)

On 07/11/2011 at 2:16pm - misc - by BMike - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I looool got stuck listening to my coworker bang on about how sexy her fiancé is fir almost an hour. She told me about their sex life, describd his dick in great detail, and showd me picture of him shirtless. My coworker is 49; her fiancé is 56 and overweight. FML

#16985771
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41328) - you deserved it (4103)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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