FMLs submitted from Kentucky

Today, my marriage counselor told me I have the communication skills of a Lou Gehrig's patient. FML

by djangle / 11/02/2010 at 7:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML

by anon / 10/25/2010 at 1:42am / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

by jailbirdlove / 10/10/2010 at 9:38pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, it's my birthday. I got a graphing calculator and my period. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2010 at 11:07am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I got in an argument so intense that she left saying that we needed to spend some time apart. The argument was over what was the best PIXAR movie. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2010 at 1:00am / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2010 at 1:52am / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, I helped move my current boyfriend into his new dorm room. This would've been fine if I didn't have to do this while avoiding eye contact with my ex-boyfriend, who just happens to be my boyfriend's new roommate. FML

by DormHater / 08/23/2010 at 7:09pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I awoke to find that my car had been burglarized in my own driveway and several hundred dollars worth of electronics were stolen. I only later discovered that my campus parking pass had also been stolen when I got a $75 ticket while taking a chemistry test. FML

by 1129 / 06/15/2010 at 12:32pm / United States (Kentucky) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wife changed her facebook status from "married" to "widowed". I'm scared. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I waited in line at a drive-through behind a man for ten minutes. I got out of my car, cursed at him, and then asked him to give me one good reason why it would take that long to order. The man slowly explained to me that he had a stutter. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2010 at 5:18am / United States (Kentucky) / Transportation

Today, I realized my boyfriend only asks me to come spend the night when he needs me to wake him up in the morning. FML

by humanalarmclock / 05/21/2010 at 12:40am / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I applied for my job, while working at my job. I hope they hire me. FML

by TheSuregeon / 03/17/2010 at 10:12pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work