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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Kentucky

Today, I realized I wasn't getting notifications for my voicemail, so I decided to check it and found out that I had 3 job offerings that are no longer an option. FML

#21521192
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21100) - you deserved it (3421)

On 01/30/2016 at 4:05pm - work - by thanks iphone - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML

#21507957
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24599) - you deserved it (2280)

On 12/26/2015 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, in an attempt to broaden my horizons in another sport besides swimming, I succeeded in getting a frisbee spiked into my face. FML

#21499524
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15630) - you deserved it (1434)

On 12/02/2015 at 11:22pm - misc - by fishoutofwater - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML

#21490780
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25849) - you deserved it (9630)

On 11/10/2015 at 10:54am - misc - by CoffeeStained - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my husband won't seek medical treatment for a condition he's been living with for years because he saw an episode of House, in which the treatment made the condition worse in a very rare instance. FML

#21481726
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23578) - you deserved it (1704)

On 10/19/2015 at 5:26am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML

#21479981
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23642) - you deserved it (2179)

On 10/14/2015 at 12:22pm - love - by StillnothowIimaginedmydaygoing (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbor's attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML

#21478578
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26255) - you deserved it (1687)

On 10/11/2015 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend didn't break up with me, but his mom did. FML

Today, our outgoing boss told us about guy who's replacing him, saying he's very nice but very anal about things. Without thinking, I shrugged and said "Anal's not bad." Now everyone's calling me Anal-Girl. FML

#21432392
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24663) - you deserved it (8099)

On 06/26/2015 at 3:56pm - work - by very analytical (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37094) - you deserved it (7778)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the amount of spiders in my house has gotten so bad that it's become routine to shake out any blankets or towels before using them. FML

#21422575
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27410) - you deserved it (3429)

On 06/07/2015 at 11:13pm - animals - by terrified - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary. All I got was him stopping by for a quickie before he went into work. FML

#21418124
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30775) - you deserved it (4193)

On 05/30/2015 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by Disappointed - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my daughter cried for ages after finding out that Nick Amaro was written out of Law and Order: SVU. She barely reacted when I told her that her mom and I are getting a divorce. FML

#21417105
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25781) - you deserved it (3312)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:40am - misc - by svunimportant - United States (Kentucky)



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