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FMLs submitted from Kent

Today, after not being able to sleep for two hours because my boyfriend wouldn't stop talking, he fell asleep and I was left wide awake. I listened to him snore for another three hours and only got a couple of hours sleep. He's not working today, but I am. FML

#21433696
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24497) - you deserved it (2871)

On 06/29/2015 at 5:28am - love - by sleepingonmydesk (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37836) - you deserved it (11011)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I made an excuse and didn't turn up at work. Little did I know my boss did the same. We both bumped into each other at the shopping centre across town. FML

#21185382
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40303) - you deserved it (24261)

On 06/23/2014 at 2:11pm - work - by AGB10 - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58778) - you deserved it (5212)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my enjoyment of popping bubble wrap was yet again ruined by my excessive OCD tendencies. FML

#20887677
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34369) - you deserved it (5180)

On 09/19/2013 at 11:18am - health - by BarryShitpeas - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

#20583359
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40456) - you deserved it (19405)

On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

#20574621
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54528) - you deserved it (18377)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I made my first snowman ever, and then cried when my big brother kicked it to pieces. I'm 27. FML

#20475358
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30818) - you deserved it (9483)

On 01/23/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML

#20178502
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14322) - you deserved it (27614)

On 11/25/2012 at 5:38pm - love - by dumping time (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was at the gym, when a pretty overweight guy started staring and eventually taunting me. Let me tell you, lines such as "Lay off the cake, fatty!" and "I can see your gut hanging out your ass, for fuck's sake!" don't exactly boost one's self-confidence. FML

#20026361
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24359) - you deserved it (2458)

On 08/17/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by fuckoffandfuckoffagainyoucunt (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

#20022255
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29527) - you deserved it (3168)

On 08/15/2012 at 7:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, a homeless guy grabbed me and started ranting that "the Mayans were right" or some shit. He was making about as much sense as Charlie Sheen outside of a padded cell, so I shoved him away. That's when he decided to pull a knife and chase me all the way to my car. FML

#19716436
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23882) - you deserved it (3797)

On 06/01/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by kay (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horse-shit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML

#19222051
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28728) - you deserved it (9480)

On 03/05/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Alfie4 (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)



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