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FMLs submitted from Kansas

Today, my landlord compared me to his idiot son for not plunging a toilet. This is the same toilet he explicitly told me not to plunge last week, because of a possible leak into the basement. We have been peeing outside for a week waiting on him. FML

#17996860
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25230) - you deserved it (2247)

On 10/16/2011 at 8:47am - misc - by Carl - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML

#17743862
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35257) - you deserved it (2428)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up with a foul stench forcing its way up my nostrils. It turns out our septic tank broke, and is now leaking into our backyard, and sadly, our basement. I live in the basement. FML

#17460789
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26277) - you deserved it (2345)

On 08/13/2011 at 3:04pm - misc - by thatguythere858 (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37590) - you deserved it (5609)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I actually resorted to checking the newspaper obituaries to see where the deceased were employed, just so I can find a job opening. FML

#16922992
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34929) - you deserved it (4807)

On 06/30/2011 at 1:44pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. His reason was because he's moving away for college. That won't be for another year. FML

#16751936
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26621) - you deserved it (4361)

On 06/19/2011 at 9:20pm - love - by youngblood (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I came home from work to find my computer smashed into a hundred pieces. My dad threw it at my mom because they were having a fight and my computer was the closest thing to throw. He refuses to fix it. FML

Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML

#16277483
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23904) - you deserved it (43045)

On 05/21/2011 at 3:44am - love - by Cassie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML

#15959633
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36813) - you deserved it (12337)

On 04/28/2011 at 2:22am - love - by ummno (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my dad woke me up for the second time to get me ready for school. Wanting me to prove I was really awake, he made me sit up. As soon as he left my room, I dozed off and faceplanted my nightstand. FML

#15635738
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10800) - you deserved it (39773)

On 04/04/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by Username - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went to a birthday party. A half hour in, a girl started showing me pictures of her cat. That was the high point of the night. FML

#15477659
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26204) - you deserved it (4245)

On 03/25/2011 at 1:50am - animals - by caseyj (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML

#15317811
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30878) - you deserved it (11874)

On 03/15/2011 at 1:58am - misc - by Megara (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML

#14509671
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23409) - you deserved it (2209)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:35pm - work - by niiiiiiiiiikki - United States (Kansas)



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