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FMLs submitted from Iowa

Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML

#17425463
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31631) - you deserved it (6068)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:48am - misc - by thatfatkid - United States (Iowa)

Today, the woman I'm training at work asked, while staring intently at the keyboard, "now, which one of these buttons is the space-bar again?" She is 80 years old, types about 1 word per minute, and I have just one week to get her completely trained. FML

#17376704
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28973) - you deserved it (2590)

On 08/05/2011 at 10:42am - work - by jhftrainer23 - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML

#17371969
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55951) - you deserved it (2763)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm - misc - by Thebestman123 - United States (Iowa)

Today, two guys proclaiming that they were both Batman attacked me on the street. FML

#17316735
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27955) - you deserved it (3073)

On 07/31/2011 at 2:17am - health - by The Joker? - United States (Iowa)

Today, my 17 pound cat fell from a counter. It wouldn't have been a big deal if he didn't try to use my leg as a tree to cling onto on the way down. FML

#17312573
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28865) - you deserved it (4613)

On 07/30/2011 at 7:58pm - animals - by Backinzi - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got home to find my truck smashed by a fallen old tree. I was going to have the tree removed next week. FML

#16809591
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28247) - you deserved it (5556)

On 06/23/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by Username - United States (Iowa)

Today, my second roommate in less then a week got a DUI. Both roommates are demanding that I drive them around for free until they get their licenses back, or else they won't have the funds to pay their rent. FML

#16418621
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33837) - you deserved it (3297)

On 05/30/2011 at 2:11pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML

Today, I received a call from the police about a car accident that I was a witness to. As the only witness who stopped to help, I was remembered by the other cars involved. They're blaming me for the accident. The cops want to talk. FML

#14993502
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29531) - you deserved it (2478)

On 02/15/2011 at 8:13pm - misc - by Nearis (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was chosen as King for our winter formal. Even after I won, nobody wanted to dance with me. FML

#14954492
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29299) - you deserved it (3461)

On 02/13/2011 at 2:16am - misc - by Average - United States (Iowa)

Today, my friend installed this new application that shows you what a girl would look like as a boy and what a boy would look like as a girl. Well I'm a girl and when it was my turn it didn't change. FML

#14772797
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29121) - you deserved it (4609)

On 01/30/2011 at 10:30am - misc - by boylookingirl (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, trying to be romantic, I started giving my boyfriend a neck massage. He gave me a weirded-out look, removed my hand, called me creep, and wouldn't let me touch him for the rest of the day. FML

#14251219
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28301) - you deserved it (4273)

On 12/18/2010 at 7:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boss is being so cheap, he'd rather type in the dark, not fix our water heater or replace our cordless phone because he will not get his bonus if he goes over the budget. FML

#14212061
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (2156)

On 12/15/2010 at 11:16am - work - by blahmylife (woman) - United States (Iowa)



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