Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Indiana

Today, I got sick at school. When someone called my mom for permission for me to leave, she told them she doesn't have a daughter and to never call that number again. FML

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28129) - you deserved it (36920)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML

#21285216
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33797) - you deserved it (2754)

On 10/25/2014 at 8:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my neighbor finally decided that when she walks her dog, she should pick up his poop. She also decided to leave the poop-filled bags in my driveway. I confronted her about this and she claimed it's never happened. I've watched her multiple times from my front window. FML

#21281417
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31618) - you deserved it (2584)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:00pm - animals - by Why Me - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home to a half-shaved dog and a laughing third grader. FML

#21267339
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34981) - you deserved it (3981)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:00pm - kids - by Anonymoose - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML

#21253597
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38440) - you deserved it (4236)

On 09/07/2014 at 9:45am - misc - by goodmorning - United States (Indiana)

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

#21252521
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44349) - you deserved it (4306)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:11pm - love - by apparentlybutch (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

#21244761
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44762) - you deserved it (5366)

On 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm - love - by angry girlfriend - United States (Indiana)

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

#21243310
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24979) - you deserved it (45199)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after months of dinners, coffees, drinks, and a few nights together, the girl of my dreams told me about this awesome guy she met yesterday. FML

#21235196
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46012) - you deserved it (4620)

On 08/11/2014 at 8:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I paid $325 to have the vet tell me that my 19-year-old cat ISN'T dying, she just had anxiety shits because we were gone on vacation for so long. FML

#21231104
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36664) - you deserved it (6194)

On 08/06/2014 at 5:35pm - animals - by chynna (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36310) - you deserved it (24364)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44615) - you deserved it (7583)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: