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FMLs submitted from Indiana

Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We were having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML

#5528599
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31479) - you deserved it (6439)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by namhtor (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took the family to the Rainforest Café. There was no parking and I detest paying $12 for valet parking. I parked at Wal-Greens across the street in the only spot without a "patrons only, violators will be towed" sign. It was covered by the tree branches. It cost me $225 for the cab and fine. FML

#5442113
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10874) - you deserved it (42373)

On 09/24/2009 at 1:24am - money - by fme (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my professor informed me that if I didn't "show more commitment" to my choral ensemble he would give my spot to a "more interested young woman." I missed class to see my neurologist. Apparently my seizures are a symptom of lack of commitment. FML

#5312415
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37550) - you deserved it (2642)

On 09/17/2009 at 1:32pm - health - by OutOfLuck (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my parents told me they wouldn't be able to afford my senior portraits. That was fine with me, until I found some expensive professional photos in the mail. Of our dog. FML

#5228035
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49113) - you deserved it (2320)

On 09/13/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by sarahpft (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while at work I passed out due to my blood sugar not being normal. Despite the fact that it took 10 minutes to wake me, no one thought I was in any sort of danger. After the episode, I then got fired for "sleeping on the job." FML

#5176412
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44235) - you deserved it (2806)

On 09/10/2009 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Indiana)

Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML

#5003582
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21151) - you deserved it (33751)

On 09/02/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Math_Rocker (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, the guy I've been dating tells me that I need to stop hanging on him in public because it's ruining his game with other girls. FML

#4909488
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49321) - you deserved it (5858)

On 08/29/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by Intheway (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML

#4858444
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43854) - you deserved it (5056)

On 08/27/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was walking with my husband, holding hands, when a man with a rainbow shirt on came up to us. He said, "I'm so glad that gay men can go out in public without being embarassed nowdays!" He patted me on the back and walked away. I'm a woman. FML

#4823053
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52039) - you deserved it (6275)

On 08/25/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by offendedfemme (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML

#4810431
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65143) - you deserved it (6743)

On 08/25/2009 at 1:09pm - love - by Jeff (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML

#4524259
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51815) - you deserved it (7718)

On 08/14/2009 at 11:53am - intimacy - by seeminglyunsexy (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I just got done watching my cousin's two kids for four days while they were on vacation. I fed, clothed, and bathed them for four days of hell and got paid with a $5 shark tooth necklace from the Bahamas. FML

#4520071
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50056) - you deserved it (5162)

On 08/14/2009 at 3:34am - kids - by thebabysitter (man) - United States (Indiana)



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