FMLs submitted from Indiana

Today, my mom learned how to use the text messaging on her smartphone. I've received 37 already, and she calls after every single one to make sure I understood her. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2011 at 11:15am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent about 10 minutes searching frantically for my cell phone, while holding it up to my ear and talking to my friend about my plans tonight. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 11:54am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 11:56am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at my new job at a food court on campus. One of the supervisors came up to my station and told me that I "really look like someone who, through some miracle, accidentally found their way into college." He then threw a pickle at me. FML

by SakuraBreeze / 09/26/2011 at 1:18am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, my girlfriend of two years confessed that she'd gotten married. But not to worry: she only did it for "tax reasons." FML

by The_Taxman / 08/20/2011 at 6:20pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML

by FML / 07/29/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML

by 99520 / 07/28/2011 at 11:25am / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I got into an argument with a militantly feminist co-worker of mine. She threw several vulgar insults at me and debased the entire male gender before storming off. I'd only asked if she needed help while she was doing a crossword. FML

by Rick / 07/28/2011 at 6:51am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I was walking my dog, and a whole bunch of teenagers were driving around my neighborhood throwing water balloons at people. They followed me for 3 blocks. FML

by CarrieRedburn / 07/27/2011 at 4:09am / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML

by MIB / 07/13/2011 at 12:26pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a customer scream, rant, and bitch me out because the pictures she took with her own camera came out blurry. My manager took her side. FML

by photo grunt / 07/07/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I had to tell my best friend that I couldn't make it to the lake today or tomorrow because I'd been called in to work. She won't believe me and thinks I'm simply avoiding her. I got called in to bathe and clean dogs' anal glands. FML

by xXx3mi_MuffinxXx / 07/01/2011 at 3:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy