FMLs submitted from Indiana

Today, I visited my new doctor, hoping that he would be able to figure out the cause of the pains I've been having for years. He told me there's nothing he can do, that half the drugs out there cause cancer anyway and that I should look into homeopathy. Great. FML

by freakofnature / 03/31/2012 at 12:17pm / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

by lovefortoday / 03/13/2012 at 12:50pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to the dorm showers to use the facilities. As I was getting in the shower, I slipped and landed face first into a puddle. It wasn't water. FML

by whatawaste / 03/07/2012 at 11:25am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned that lemonade and urine look very similar to one another. I also learned that they taste very different. FML

by iVaughtTV / 02/28/2012 at 5:44pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to run a timed mile. I'm terrible at running. During the run, I thought I was doing a good job. That is, until the teacher told me to stop because I was three laps behind everyone else. FML

by Fluffy / 01/11/2012 at 7:51am / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I'm so insecure that I was still slightly flattered when the demented old man at the nursing home where I work hit on me, because at least somebody finds me attractive. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via the medium of free-style rapping. FML

by Emily / 12/17/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

by stinky / 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML

by Person15 / 11/26/2011 at 6:13pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because her father, who abandoned her before she was born and just reentered her life, doesn't approve. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2011 at 3:16am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, my mom learned how to use the text messaging on her smartphone. I've received 37 already, and she calls after every single one to make sure I understood her. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2011 at 11:15am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent about 10 minutes searching frantically for my cell phone, while holding it up to my ear and talking to my friend about my plans tonight. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 11:54am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous