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FMLs submitted from Indiana

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26372) - you deserved it (34523)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML

#21285216
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31538) - you deserved it (2380)

On 10/25/2014 at 8:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my neighbor finally decided that when she walks her dog, she should pick up his poop. She also decided to leave the poop-filled bags in my driveway. I confronted her about this and she claimed it's never happened. I've watched her multiple times from my front window. FML

#21281417
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30188) - you deserved it (2451)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:00pm - animals - by Why Me - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home to a half-shaved dog and a laughing third grader. FML

#21267339
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32479) - you deserved it (3443)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:00pm - kids - by Anonymoose - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML

#21253597
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36400) - you deserved it (3838)

On 09/07/2014 at 9:45am - misc - by goodmorning - United States (Indiana)

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

#21252521
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41326) - you deserved it (3696)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:11pm - love - by apparentlybutch (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

#21244761
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41763) - you deserved it (4709)

On 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm - love - by angry girlfriend - United States (Indiana)

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

#21243310
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24920) - you deserved it (45089)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after months of dinners, coffees, drinks, and a few nights together, the girl of my dreams told me about this awesome guy she met yesterday. FML

#21235196
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44740) - you deserved it (4512)

On 08/11/2014 at 8:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I paid $325 to have the vet tell me that my 19-year-old cat ISN'T dying, she just had anxiety shits because we were gone on vacation for so long. FML

#21231104
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34560) - you deserved it (5592)

On 08/06/2014 at 5:35pm - animals - by chynna (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34011) - you deserved it (22611)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44543) - you deserved it (7571)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML

#21196912
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53262) - you deserved it (12585)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)



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