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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I drove six hours with a friend to see one of her favorite bands in concert. We were turned away at the door because the online site didn't say we had to be 21 to enter. I drove six hours back with nothing to show for it but an empty gas tank and useless tickets. FML

#4074889
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39868) - you deserved it (8916)

On 07/27/2009 at 5:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to tell my 10 year old son that me and his father are getting a divorce. His reply? "Yes! I call living with dad!" FML

#4066807
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52221) - you deserved it (11974)

On 07/26/2009 at 11:13pm - kids - by reckless182 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up from the worst nightmare I've ever had. After tearfully explaining to my boyfriend, in detail, how bad this dream was, he told me to "put on my big girl panties" and make him breakfast. FML

#3998024
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43512) - you deserved it (12634)

On 07/24/2009 at 2:40am - love - by vanguardwiley (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

#3991086
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58140) - you deserved it (26257)

On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

#3967657
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72489) - you deserved it (4481)

On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML

#3929849
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54609) - you deserved it (6048)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:45pm - love - by sexychica (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

#3925036
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64177) - you deserved it (11863)

On 07/21/2009 at 6:42am - intimacy - by picturemenakedbaby (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean that he will show up at the wedding. FML

#3890041
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (223111) - you deserved it (14044)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Loveless (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML

#3863732
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47781) - you deserved it (12596)

On 07/18/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by blackntangirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML

#3861516
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72173) - you deserved it (7675)

On 07/18/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by overachiever - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was surprising my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was nude and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML

#3855334
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71913) - you deserved it (7994)

On 07/18/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by Meh (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received a "diamond ring" in Mafia Wars (a facebook app) from my boyfriend of 3 years. Along with the ring came a message. It read, "Will you marry me?" He was serious. FML

#3827229
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57750) - you deserved it (9469)

On 07/17/2009 at 8:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "my mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML

#3799084
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39251) - you deserved it (12684)

On 07/16/2009 at 11:02am - kids - by porkeater (man) - United States (Illinois)



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