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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I received a private message on Facebook, from a woman I've never heard of, subject: "Eric X's wife says HI." She goes on to say that she is going to find me, and ruin my life the way I have ruined hers. I've never even heard of Eric X and am happily engaged. FML

#6679301
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32432) - you deserved it (2321)

On 12/09/2009 at 11:31am - love - by Cherie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

#6665165
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23883) - you deserved it (4919)

On 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by fatguyinalittlecoat (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I slipped on the new snow and sprained my ankle. As my mom and I were leaving the emergency room, she says, "You owe me $4 for parking," and she meant it. FML

#6663134
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29894) - you deserved it (3807)

On 12/08/2009 at 10:19am - health - by redcherries90 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I dropped my camera down 4 flights of circular stairs from the top of a lighthouse. Everything worked, it just had a few dents. Then, as I went to put it in my pocket, I missed. It fell 3 feet and hit the floor. Now it won't turn on. FML

#6603639
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30147) - you deserved it (16591)

On 12/04/2009 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had an elderly man come to my cash register. His total came to $15.50 He handed me $5 in nickels and dimes. A full roll of quarters. Before I could take the roll, he bust it open, making me count it. After that was all counted he was 50 cents short. So he handed me a $10 bill. FML

#6594787
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38138) - you deserved it (2801)

On 12/04/2009 at 1:27am - work - by Chels (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received an e-mail from my stepmom. It was a picture of a boy that she said she thought I might like to know. Next to the picture was the message "he comes from a good military background". My love life is so pathetic that my stepmother feels the need to try and set me up. FML

#6573987
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24662) - you deserved it (4682)

On 12/02/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by kay (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

#6528104
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39550) - you deserved it (5770)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, a mall cop tore up my 'Free hugs' sign. FML

#6489895
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35272) - you deserved it (16518)

On 11/28/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Cornbreesha (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

#6480893
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60293) - you deserved it (3112)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking in rain. I had my hands in my pants pockets, so that the front of the jacket was pointing down. Halfway to Taco Bell, my crotch felt exceptionally wet. I looked down to see a wet spot. The rain on my jacket was channeled to my crotch. FML

#6462833
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25375) - you deserved it (5913)

On 11/26/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by jaeilssanguh - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up early. As I was just about to fall back asleep, I was re-awoken to the sound of my parents doing it in the shower. FML

#6460097
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24438) - you deserved it (2232)

On 11/26/2009 at 9:19am - intimacy - by whattheshit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, in dance class we did a choreography where we wear two shirts and take one off in one quick motion. After I took mine off, the audience goes "aaah". Then I realize that I had taken both my shirts off as stood there with only my bra on. I was being videotaped. FML

#6393242
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31430) - you deserved it (6185)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by girl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend whom I love dearly because he doesn't share his feelings and won't commit. Yesterday, he wrote me a long love letter telling me he wanted to marry me. One of my kids had shoved it under my printer and I didn't find it until after he had moved out. FML

#6335376
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36044) - you deserved it (10889)

On 11/16/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by lynxstorm - United States (Illinois)



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