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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I flew from Chicago to San Francisco to get some of my stuff out of a storage unit. I left the keys for the padlock at home. FML

#2530639
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18431) - you deserved it (46680)

On 06/02/2009 at 12:14pm - misc - by Tom (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number I said 'Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number'. So many girls have given me that number, I memorized it. FML

#2523037
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48659) - you deserved it (5608)

On 06/02/2009 at 1:41am - love - by toobad (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML

#2485875
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37972) - you deserved it (34995)

On 05/31/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by bluehairedfreakgirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandfather kept on asking me questions about my girlfriend and was obviously proud of the things he remembered about her. The only thing he couldn't remember is that we broke up. I had to talk with him about our 'great relationship' for over an hour. FML

#2480755
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35972) - you deserved it (3183)

On 05/31/2009 at 9:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our 1 year anniversary and it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two pack of cigarettes. FML

#2465572
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39978) - you deserved it (9286)

On 05/31/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by sadwife (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML

#2406815
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44375) - you deserved it (4503)

On 05/29/2009 at 5:09pm - health - by PiZzA_FaCe (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I brought home a vase, which I was proud of, that I made for my mother in my pottery class. My mother took one look at it and said, "Oh good, you can sell that in our garage sale." FML

#2299417
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39928) - you deserved it (2639)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by Allen (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a little girl at work was coloring a picture that said "Best Dad" on it. Wanting to be nice I asked her if she was making it for her dad for father's day. She looked at me with a sad face and said, "I don't have a dad..." FML

#2199355
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49479) - you deserved it (5940)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:03am - kids - by zbaby (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my company filed for bankruptcy, but the reorganize kind where it still functions. There are no funds to give out paychecks any time soon. They won't fire me. If I voluntarily quit, I cannot file for unemployment. I'm now an unpaid intern. FML

#2181067
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46658) - you deserved it (2181)

On 05/22/2009 at 2:39pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while interviewing for a job I had to read over the physical requirements for the job. Later on she asked me how flexible I was. Trying to keep a straight face, I told her I was more flexible while I was playing sports but could work on it if I need to. She was talking about work hours. FML

#2175107
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10255) - you deserved it (40688)

On 05/22/2009 at 8:09am - work - by bigblue51 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my car died on a major road, a cop pulled over to help, he offered to jump me, while doing so because my battery was so dead he told me to put the gas on the floor, I did and my car roared to life, he then pulled me over five feet from where my car died to give me a ticket for a loud exhaust. FML

#2168919
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55439) - you deserved it (4363)

On 05/22/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by fmlcops (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman says "nice dog" and without thinking I respond, "you too." FML

#2115737
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13888) - you deserved it (38808)

On 05/20/2009 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



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