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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today I finally lost my vrginity. Too bad it cost me every last shrd of self-respect an involvd begging a hooker to take my money. FML

#21275111
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35645) - you deserved it (21561)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today I sent mah boyfriend a picture of mah vagina. He replid ( What's that? ) mega FML

#21271608
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39904) - you deserved it (16410)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today , I was pulld over by a cop. He told me one of mah lights was bustd , an I couldn't help but point out that one of his was out too. He said , "Thanks looool , I'll get that fixd right away." then gave me a ticket. FML

#21267623
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36824) - you deserved it (5709)

On 09/29/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

TADAY I GOT BACK HOME FROM WORK AND CASUALLY ASKED MAH DAD ( WHAT'S UP? ) HE CASUALLY REPLIED: ( WISHING I'D HAD A SON INSTEAD. ) AND STARED GLASSY-EYED AT ME UNTIL I LEFT THE ROOM. FML

#21265875
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33400) - you deserved it (2742)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peieng, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML

#21262000
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35538) - you deserved it (2632)

On 09/20/2014 at 7:39pm - misc - by rabid_otaku - United States (Illinois)

TODAY, I TOOK MY GRLFRIEND OF A YEAR OUT ON A DATE, A NICE FANCY DINNER AND A MOVIE. AFTER DINNER, I SAID THAT I WAS FEELING SICK AND JUST WANTED TO GO HOME. I DIDN'T HAVE THE HEART TO TELL HER THAT DINNER WAS SO EXPENSIVE THAT I DIDN'T HAVE MONEY 4 THE MOVIE. BIG FAT FML

#21258006
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44398) - you deserved it (8825)

On 09/14/2014 at 11:32am - love - by jgboy - United States (Illinois)

Today... I Bought A Large Ice Cream Cake. No... There's No Occasion... But I Did Ask The Cashier To Write "Happy Birthday" On It... Just So She Wouldn't Know I Was Going To Eat It All Myself. FML

#21252624
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32385) - you deserved it (9228)

On 09/05/2014 at 8:13pm - misc - by tbee - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones!! They work well!! Too well!! My mom came home, unpackd her shopping, walkd upstairs, knockd on my door, opend my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing!! Fucking hell!! FML

#21246585
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38989) - you deserved it (37946)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today... I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done... a nice waiter cummed over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly at the last of it... looked up smiling and said "thanks". The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML

#21237898
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35735) - you deserved it (10251)

On 08/15/2014 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I drove an our to a friend's wedding. Realizing I was too early, I sat in my car at a gas station and watced Te Office to kill time. I walked in to see te newly married couple escorting te last few rows out. I ad been told te wrong time and te wedding was over. FML

today mah boyfriend laid his head on mah bare chest and said ( You're like mah mother. ) mega FML

#21229751
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43402) - you deserved it (3975)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:40am - love - by motherlover (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today , my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my namehen asked to repeat , "I take thee , Emily , to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked , so he explainedhile laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I woke up from a nap to find mah little brother playing some games on mah phone. A few hours later I come to find he had deleted all 500 pictures from mah trip to Europe last month. He needed more space to download the games. Mom says he's too young to understandhat he did wrong. He's 14. FML

#21219527
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52469) - you deserved it (5130)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by stupid older sister (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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