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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply "#rekt", then "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML

#21334865
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26442) - you deserved it (3151)

On 01/11/2015 at 12:57am - love - by kumcat (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML

#21330412
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31586) - you deserved it (1922)

On 01/04/2015 at 1:46am - work - by gothicvamp93 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to splurge and get valet parking at a fancy restaurant. I got out of the car and gave the man my keys and watched as he slowly backed my car into another car. FML

#21319039
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32649) - you deserved it (3107)

On 12/17/2014 at 8:33am - misc - by seriously - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents decided to "discipline" my kitten by spraying her with water. This somehow managed to completely un-train her, and now she's back to being the compulsive biter she was when I first brought her home. FML

#21318466
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29200) - you deserved it (3074)

On 12/16/2014 at 10:01am - animals - by scars - United States (Illinois)

Today, my oldest friend got engaged to her loving boyfriend of one year. Meanwhile, I can't even get my boyfriend of more than four years to commit to a decision of what he wants for dinner. FML

#21316127
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28224) - you deserved it (4114)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:17am - love - by galladore - United States (Illinois)

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

#21312610
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36269) - you deserved it (11306)

On 12/06/2014 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by fuckered519 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend brought me to a restaurant on a surprise date. I guess he didn't know that my ex-boyfriend now works there, and that he would be our waiter for the evening. FML

#21311019
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31920) - you deserved it (3013)

On 12/03/2014 at 9:49pm - love - by maddieex - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend went to work instead of going to my father's funeral. He works at home and chooses his own hours. FML

#21308437
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34293) - you deserved it (3051)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by .... - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spent nearly an hour helping a customer pick out an engagement ring. I rang him up, picked out a super cute box for the ring, and wished him luck. Later I realized I never put the ring inside the box. FML

#21304265
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32308) - you deserved it (16354)

On 11/23/2014 at 1:10am - misc - by KilledTheMoment - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

#21304109
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32841) - you deserved it (3056)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my mom is doing a study and is keeping used pads in the freezer. FML

#21298678
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33615) - you deserved it (2237)

On 11/13/2014 at 10:39pm - money - by PPP - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. Her excuse? I was the one that had initially introduced them. FML

#21298582
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33401) - you deserved it (2705)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:59pm - intimacy - by johnnycomehelpme - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

#21296970
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32429) - you deserved it (2853)

On 11/11/2014 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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