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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I still have the bronchitis and the stomach flu that I suffered through all weekend. Today was to be the day I had my bachelorette party and wedding shower. I had to call both of them off. FML

#19264190
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22675) - you deserved it (1867)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML

#19253868
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8317) - you deserved it (133524)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend over Skype. I said I loved her and hoped we would be together forever. She responded by singing Who Wants to Live Forever into her mic. FML

#19250645
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15543) - you deserved it (3159)

On 03/10/2012 at 10:16am - love - by callen5 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was given a bottle of vitamins that are supposed to help your memory. I forgot them at home. FML

#19244814
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20065) - you deserved it (3667)

On 03/09/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I texted my boyfriend, and he pretended he was a Burger King employee who found a lost phone, just so that he wouldn't have to talk to me. FML

#19226382
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22994) - you deserved it (3909)

On 03/06/2012 at 8:56am - love - by biggirlsdocry (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML

#19216079
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7843) - you deserved it (40200)

On 03/04/2012 at 7:27pm - money - by stuff2710 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML

#19195377
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24766) - you deserved it (3287)

On 03/01/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by ohdang - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized you should always knock on your parents' door before entering. Even at 6:30 am. FML

#19182227
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12218) - you deserved it (25928)

On 02/28/2012 at 1:55pm - intimacy - by none - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML

#19120522
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6891) - you deserved it (27219)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by OhMyWhitney - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that my fiancé only touches me when he wants to have sex. Any other contact is purely accidental. FML

#19105886
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22401) - you deserved it (2735)

On 02/18/2012 at 7:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, someone peed in my physical education locker. The only way someone could've done it is with a ladder. I'm so popular it hurts. FML

#19084261
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24035) - you deserved it (4564)

On 02/15/2012 at 7:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while sitting on the toilet, I noticed there was no toilet paper left, so I dug through my purse to use my one and only pad as a substitute. It clogged the toilet, and I started my period ten minutes later. FML

#19035174
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26441) - you deserved it (15101)

On 02/09/2012 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw my girlfriend at the store and joyfully greeted her. She got really mad at me - it was her identical twin sister, who I still cannot tell apart from my girlfriend. We've been dating for three years. FML

#19018043
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19481) - you deserved it (13619)

On 02/07/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



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