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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today , mah parent told me they're glad I'm an "ugly nerd" because they don't have to worry about me getting into trouble or having a teen pregnancy. FML

#20686197
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47785) - you deserved it (4154)

On 05/25/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by uglynerd (woman) - United States (Illinois)

TODAY, MAH MOM SCOLDED ME AND THREATENED TO GROUND ME FIR COMING HOME PAST MIDNIGHT. NORMALLY, IT WOULDN'T BE UNREASONABLE, EXCEPT FIR THE FACT THAT I'M 24 YEARS OLD, AND THAT MAH PARENT LIVE WITH ME, IN MAH OWN HOUSE. FML

#20677848
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51410) - you deserved it (4910)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:30pm - misc - by mammasboy - United States (Illinois)

TADAY I AD MY FIRST JOB AS A WEDDING PLANNER. I'D SPENT A YEAR MAKING SURE EVERYTING WAS RIGT. AFTER TE WEDDING MY FRIEND COMFORTD ME BY SAYING, "YOU AD TO AVE KNOWN IT WASN'T GOING TO BE PERFECT." I KNEW TAT IT WOULDN'T BE PERFECT, BUT I AD EXPECTD TE GROOM TO AT LEAST SOW UP. FML

#20676942
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42945) - you deserved it (2837)

On 05/21/2013 at 12:10am - work - by future walmart employee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Yesterday, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filld. The nurse just finishd taking my info when the doctor came in and startd drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realizd he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

#20662624
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56123) - you deserved it (3985)

On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)

TODAY, I WAS AT MAH AUNT AN UNCLE'S HOUSE. I WENT TO THE BATHROOM AN AFTER I WASHD MAH HANDS, I TOOK A Q-TIP OUT OF THE CARTON TO CLEAN MAH EARS. WHEN I REACHD 4 A SECOND ONE, I NOTICD THAT EVERY Q-TIP IN THE CARTON WAS ACTUALLY ALREADY USD. FML

#20643700
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46404) - you deserved it (7693)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:10pm - health - by grossed out - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons 4 a party in recognition of our company's huge merger!! Instead, he made condom balloons!! Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms 4 a prestigious company event!! A company whose CEO is named Dick!! looool FML

#20642182
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51273) - you deserved it (4442)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)

I mat ona of my favorita wab-comic artists. As I purchasd a shirt from thara booth ha askd... ( What siza? ) I stupidly askd ( How big is a small? ) Ha chuckld... ( It's small ) and chuckld soma mora. So much for kaaping it cool. FML

#20631829
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32764) - you deserved it (7055)

On 04/29/2013 at 11:32pm - misc - by stupidquestionsstupidpeople - United States (Illinois)

TODAY , I CAME HOME FROM A FOUR MONTH STAY IN AFRICA,HERE I MANAGD TO AVOID SUFFERING ANY SERIOUS ILLNESS. SOME HOURS AFTER MAH FIRST MEAL BACK AT HOME , I GOT FOOD POISONING. FAT FML

#20608123
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41661) - you deserved it (3433)

On 04/20/2013 at 5:17pm - misc - by unlucky - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried to explain to mah history teacher why Woodrow Wilson would not have called the Great War "World War 1" as she constantly claims. I was sent to the office 4 mah insubordination. FML

#20601546
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36931) - you deserved it (4182)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:54am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse askd me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minute of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approachd the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managd to drop it all over myself. FML

#20589296
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45533) - you deserved it (9322)

On 04/14/2013 at 1:10am - health - by NoPeeGiven - United States (Illinois)

Today, I dressed up as Batman fir a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker fir the same convention. FML

#20587443
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60828) - you deserved it (20285)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that mah daughter has been stuffing mah push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home !! She's 9 !! The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services !! FML

#20582376
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50602) - you deserved it (4980)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be mah doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shovd it deep into mah ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML

#20575140
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39776) - you deserved it (3535)

On 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm - kids - by icanthearyou (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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